Why Did I Believe You

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When you told me you loved me
You didn't mean it.
You meant nothing.
I was just a joke to you.
I was just someone for you to use.
Nothing we did,
Nothing I said,
Nothing that happened between us,
Meant shit to you.
None of it.

You didn't mean a word you said.
You just tried to trick me,
And it worked.
I fell for your lies again.
I fell for all of it
Because I still loved you,
And you knew that,
So you used it to your advantage,
And you manipulated me,
And used me,
And messed with my feelings,
And you didn't care
At all.

I'm leaving.
I'm leaving you.
I'm leaving your lies.
I'm leaving everything.
I don't want it anymore.
This isn't love.
What you feel for me
Is not love;
That is,
If you feel anything at all for me.

This is the last time
I will let you back into my life,
So don't you dare
Try and come back again,
Because I will not let you.
I am not letting you destroy me
Again.
Not again.

You said you loved me,
And I said I loved you,
And I meant it
Unlike you.

~ R.L.

11/1/18

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