Archetype

Chapter 38: SHATTERED

Maddie's POV

"You're scaring me." She looks at me. Her eyes are so glassy, as if you can see how dangerous it was.

She smiles, yung di abot hanggang mata. It didn't even reveal her cheekbones. "I'm so scared since then." She told me.

"Since when?"

"Since forever, especially when I met her." Between the both of us, I know she's more scared than I.

"You don't know what you're talking about." I'm quite sure, she didn't.

"I hope so." She paused for a little while, let out an air and let go of our gazes. "Ikaw? What makes you scared this time?"

"To be honest, Bea. Ikaw. Most of the time, ikaw lang naman yung kinakatakutan ko."

"Stop being funny." Eyes on the ceiling.

"I'm not being funny. Di mo pa rin ba ramdam?" With all the heat I'm feeling, why is my heart seems like it is freezing?

"Ramdam?"

"Na andaming taong takot na mahalin ka, but we still took the risk, of being with you, of falling."

"And I owe you that?" Her voice gone deeper. Any moment, pwede ulit akong malunod. Malunod ang mapusok kong puso sa mababaw niyang emosyon.

"You owe no one but her."

There's a hint of delectation as I see her scrabble. At least I know they are at par in this situation.

"She hates me. And you know what it means?" Finally, she meets my eyes again. "I'm already paying for everything."

"She hates you. She hates us. Worse than that, she hates herself. Isn't it too much?" I'm like whispering, fooling myself in my own belief that if I said it softly, it will lessen her pain.

"Jia's with her." She clenched her fist. "As usual, fixing the things that I just broke."

"You think she needs Jia? She needs you, Bea. She needs you the most."

"No, Mads. I'll just wreck her more."

"You need to protect her." I said it as if I'm not listening to her.

"That's why I'm staying away."

"Nope. Running away is more appropriate." I think this is not yet the right time. I might screw things up more if ever. "I need to go, Bea. Think clearer. Think of her. All those wonderful things you had with her. Think of her smile, on when you will be able to witness that again."

She walked me to the exit. Despite everything, she still knew how to care. How to be gentle.

Bea's POV

Just right after Maddie left, I found Jia uncomfortably sitting on our bar counter, holding a bottle of 1800.

People here knew her, making her come and go every time she wants.

"You can now tell me what happened." It was rather a soft command, but it sends me shivers.

"What complementary you want for your margarita?"

"I'm good." She looks calm, but I'm pretty sure she's not.

The way she looks at me, parang ibang Jia ang nasa harap ko.

"How's the team going?"

"Nothing's new since you left." She gulped what's inside her glass- like a player fresh from a really long rally who needs to be rehydrated.

"How about you?"

"Stop beating around the bush, Bea! Until when you'll gonna let us guess?!" She grabs her hair, displacing the frustration I caused.

"Sorry." It was all I can say to her.

Sorry, Jia.
For causing you a lot of trouble.
Sorry for giving you responsibility you never ever signed up for.
Sorry because you're always the one who needed to clean up the mess I made.
Sorry for being your friend.
Sorry for being part of your life.

"I don't need your sorry. I need your story."

And right there, I knew I screwed her up again.

"Jia, I never said a thing. Neither her. But...." I strangled.

It took me few seconds, few gulping and few memories to continue. But she patiently waits.

"But, we both knew."

She's extremely focus and concern. The same eyes I saw years ago, in a white room. I thought that day, angels also do mourn.

"I'm sure she knew. And she feels the same way." I added.

"You think?" I nodded. Being in the same page with her, lessen my agony. "She came back alone. Why is that?"

"That's another story."

"Still your story to tell."

"We were eating quietly, the silence I kinda enjoy." I started.

I smiled with that thought- Jhoana carelessly eating her carbonara and me, enjoying the moment while sipping my champagne and stealing gazes from her. We let the mellow music serenades us. I owned that moment and I'm very sure she does too.

"Who the hell cares about the people around us and on what they think. All I care was her smile. Her alone. And maybe a bottle of champagne, pampalakas ng loob." I can feel my viens are getting tighter around my heart. They're like sucking my blood terribly. So terrible that I almost forgot the basics of breathing.

"That was supposed to be a happy night, Jia. That was the plan." I saw pity in her eyes- the least thing I need for now or forever.

"Nevermind. I guess, we're both not ready yet." And off I go, away from anyone.

I heard her call my name, but I don't wanna look back. I don't have enough strength to see her eyes like that. Fuck! Hindi ko kailangan ng awa. It will just shattered me more.

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I know I'm a week late huhu. Sorry guys! Mwa! 💙💙