I Need You

29

It's been about a month since the first concert. Every concert has been running smoothly and it has all been happy and fun.

Right now I am sick with a fever, so I've been having to stay at the house. I've had a fever for the past week. There is a concert this weekend in Canada, so I won't be able to go. I wish I could but everyone thinks I should get better first.

I would go to Canada with them just for support, but I think it would be best for me to stay in bed and just rest for a while longer.

The guys all leave in about an hour to head to the airport to get on the plane to go to Canada. I've been helping them all pack whenever I can; whenever I am feeling well enough to.

"Do you guys need anything else?" I ask them. They are now all in the living room waiting for the van.

"No," says Jungkook standing up and walking towards me, "you just need to go rest." He kisses my forehead and walks me to my room.

Before, though, I give all the guys an air hug and blow them all kisses.

When we get to my room Jungkook makes me get in bed.

"Go away, I don't want to get you sick," I say kind of joking, kind of serious.

"I'm cool," he says back and gives me another kiss on the forehead. He begins to tuck me in as if I am a child and laughs. He gives my hand a little squeeze and walks towards the door.

At the door, before he exits, he turns around and gives me a little wink and wave and I do the same, but lying down.

Very soon after, I fall asleep.

I wake up the next day and the guys are already gone and at rehearsals in Canada.

I walk into the living room and make some soup and turn on the TV. I turn on Netflix and watch some "Friends."

When I finish my soup, I do the dishes really quick and go back to my room to lie down.

I don't have anything to do, so I decide to record a Youtube video since I haven't in a really long time. I have about 13.2 million subscribers on Youtube even though I am very bad at uploading and stuff.

I record a quick little video called, "Whats been going on with me," to kind of update them on my life. I also show them around the house a bit, but avoid the guys rooms.

When I finish filming, I lie back in bed and begin to edit the footage. For most Youtuber's they say it takes them days to edit a video, but for some reason it only takes me a few hours. I've always just known what looks good and I know what edits to use, etc. I guess I just have a knack for it.

It's about 10:30 at night and I probably need to go to sleep. Before I do though, I check in on the guys.

"Hey how are yall doing? How's Canada?" I text them. I fall asleep almost immediately, so I don't know if they have responded yet or not.

I wake up the next day around 11:30 am to multiple text messages:

Jimin: "Canada is really cool and really cold!"

V: "Wish you were here Jade! Miss you!"

Jin: "Wish us luck on concert tonight!"

I reply with, "Good luck! Wish I was there with yall too! xoxo"

Jungkook didn't text in the groupchat at all, or even to me privately. Weird. Usually he texts me every night when we aren't together.

I check the rest of my texts now. There is one from Kim:

"Jade! Check allkpop now!!"

I reply with, "why?"

"Jade! Trust me! Just do it!"

"Ok...," I say.

I open my computer to check "allkpop" to see what is going on. Before it loads, Kim calls me.

"Hello?" I say.

"Jade! Have you opened allkpop yet?"

"No, it's loading. What's going on?"

"Just look. I'm sorry."

Just then it loads, and it is the top story on the page, "Is Jungkook Cheating on his Lady? Where's Jade? And Why Isn't She in Canada?" The main picture is a picture of all the guys with the female kpop group "Red Velvet," and there in the middle, is Jungkook practically nibbling on Irene's cheek/chin.

"Oh my gosh!" I scream.

"Jade? What are you gonna do?" asks Kim.

"I'm going to wait for him to get back here is what I'm gonna do."

"Why don't you text him or call him right now?"

"I don't think I should do that. Plus I don't think I'd think straight, so I should give myself a few days."

"You're probably right," she replies, "How could he do this to you?"

"I wanna know how he thought I wouldn't see this! I'm so pissed!" Tears start to swell in my eyes and I quickly wipe them away.

"Yeah. He's a stupid boy and you don't deserve this."

"Um hum," I say quietly. Now the tears are streaming down my face.

"Well, call me if you need me," Kim says sympathetically.

"I will. Thanks Kim."

"No problem, love you girl. I'm with you."

"Thanks," I say, my voice cracking and all. I quickly hang up and lie down. Tears are now coming out of me like a waterfall and they won't stop. How could he do this? Is this just "allkpop" blowing it out of proportion? What is going on?

I read some more of the article and apparently Red Velvet had a concert in Canada, too, and they all met up at this party after booth their concerts. I wonder what would've happened if I had been there with them.

More tears begin to fall, and they are now falling faster and faster.

After about an hour, the tears are nearly gone. Just a few fall every so often, but I can't help but look at the photo of all of them.

I close my computer, turn on some sad music from my "feeling blue" playlist on Spotify and cry some more quietly.

When they get back, I am going to grill that boy so much and make him regret his decisions. How dare he do this to me. I thought things were so good. Am I not good enough for him?

All these thoughts overwhelm me and I eventually cry myself to sleep.