more than this | grayson dolan (book one)

nineteen

The low knock coming from my bedroom door causes my heart rate to slightly increase. I nervously gulp as I keep my eyes on the doorknob, trying to contemplate if I should open it or not.

"It's me." Jake lowly mumbles from the other side.

I look back at myself in the mirror. It's been four days since both fights occurred. I've been distant around the house and try to make sure I'm never home anymore.

I picked up extra shifts at work this week so I can avoid seeing my dad. Jake and I have barely spoken, which is partially my fault. I step toward the door and twist the handle to pull it open. I walk back over to my bag and place my phone and charger into it.

"Can we talk?" He lets out a sigh.

"I'm leaving in a few minutes." I look at the digital clock by my nightstand, the time reads 7:46 pm.

"To go where?" He steps closer to me.

I turn around and stare back at him. "A party."

"Whose party? Who are you going with?" He crosses his arms over his chest.

"Some random kid in my grade is throwing it, I'm going with my friend Lanie." I half lie.

"Who the hell is Lanie?" He raises an eyebrow at me. "How come I never met her?"

"Why are you asking me so many questions?" I groan and tilt my head back.

"You aren't going to be with that Dolan kid, right?" He sternly clenches his jaw.

"No, but I can't control if he's going to be there." Okay, now I'm really lying.

"Try to stay away from that prick, I mean it." He warns as he lifts his pointer finger up at me.

"Is this interrogation over?" I roll my eyes and head for the door.

"I just wanted to say sorry." His voice softly speaks, which causes me to turn back around.

"For what?" I sigh as I look at him.

"What happened on Monday." He shrugs while breaking our eye contact by looking down.

"You don't need to be apologizing, nothing was your fault." I slowly remind him so he understands.

"Yes, I do. You shouldn't come home to that everyday." He runs his hands through his hair as he steps toward me.

"It's been my life for years." I sadly state as I carefully stare at him.

"That's why I'm sorry."

"I'm going to admit something to you. I'm starting to get tired of everything. The way we're living, dad being an abusive asshole, not having plans for my life. I accepted it because I know I can't change it, but it's tiring." I gulp as I keep my eyes on him.

"I wish I can change things for us." He lets out a deep breath as he tries to comfort me.

My body tenses as a bitter yet familiar smell suddenly fills my nostrils. I furrow my eyebrows and tilt my head to the side. "Is that alcohol?"

"What do you mean?" He creases his forehead.

"I smell liquor." I inhale another breath.

"That's what our house smells like, plus I haven't washed my clothes." He looks down at his dirty hoodie.

I stay quiet while my hand rests on the door handle. "I gotta go." I mumble as I exit my own bedroom. This house is consuming my brain and I need to step into fresh air. I swing the car keys round my pointer finger as I get into the front seat.