Nasa loob pa din kami ng convenience store at hindi pa nagsasalita si V. I was waiting for him to speak up but he never did. Instead, tumayo siya at tinignan ako as if he expected me to follow his lead.
"So? You want to get in?" He asked, and I just nodded. "Then follow me. Sa car. I can't really pour out my emotions inside a convenience store, can I?"
Naspeechless naman ako sa sinabi niya. Totoo nga naman. I nodded, and then stood up. He then went behind me at hinayaan na unahan ko ang paglalakad paalis sa convenience store.
Pagkalabas na pagkalabas ko ay hinampas ako ng malamig na hangin. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ba anlamig pa din. Sinampal ko naman ang mukha ko nang maalala ko na oo nga pala at season.
Napatigil naman siya sa paglalakad niya at hinarap ako.
"Why did you hurt yourself? Don't do it. Or I will hurt myself too. Kanina pa ako nagpipigil na saktan ang sarili ko kaso baka malaman nila hyung," sabi niya, and I nodded.
"I just thought about something. Nasaan ang car mo?" I asked, and he pointed at the car malapit sa amin.
"Get in the backseat. Dun nalang tayo mag-usap." He said, and I nodded.
He clicked the button on his key, at tumunog naman yung car and nag-ilaw yung lights. I went towards it and then nagpunta sa backseat. Sinundan naman niya ako and nilock ang door.
Hindi ko alam, pero ngayon ay parang ibang side nanaman ni V ang nakikita ko. Ewan ko ba kung bakit. Para bang andami dami niyang side na hindi ko pa pala nakikita.
Tumatak lang siguro sa akin yung kung anong nangyari nung blind date kaya I have been thinking of him as that person na weirdo when he can clearly be serious when he needs to?
"So. Wag mong isipin na ako ang kausap mo. Isipin mo nalang na ibang tao ang kausap mo because I am not comfortable in saying this habang alam ko na kilala mo ako. Na ako si V Monteverde. Think of this side as... Taehyung. Okay?" He softly asked, and I nodded.
"Okay. I will. What's gotten you upset today?" I asked, and tumingala naman siya. Iniwasan kong tignan ang adam's apple niya, pero napatingin ako kaya naman lumingon ako palayo.
"Let me introduce myself. Again. Real this time. I am V Monteverde, but to my family, I am Taehyung Monteverde. Ako yung kapatid, anak, apo, at pamangkin nila. Wanna know why I am this gloomy? Kasi hindi ko na makilala ang sarili ko. I can't go home dahil sa busy schedules namin. I can't even visit them. Minsan naman ay hindi ko pa sila namemessage at natatawag kaya nakokonsensya ako," he started, and stopped. I bit my lip. I feel the same way.
"Hey. That's pretty normal. We accepted this busy life dahil gusto natin na abutin yung pangarap natin. Yung mainspire din ang iba na abutin ang pangarap nila nang dahil sa atin. Believe me, I miss my family too. I think I haven't talked to them in a year now, dahil yung huling usapan namin ay nasa States daw sila and are busy. They are missing me and asking kung uuwi ba ako dun sa pasko but I said no. All of this is because of pur busy schedules. Alam ko ganun din ang pakiramdam mo. Namimiss mo na silang lahat. But it sure is okay to feel that way. Ang mamiss sila," sabi ko, and he sighed.
"But I am such a failure. Ni isang tawag ay hindi ko magawa samantalang nagagawa ko pang maglive. Nagagawa ko yun pero hindi ko sila matawagan. But the one thing that brings me despair is... I miss my grandmother most. Naluluha ako sa tuwing naaalala ko siya," sabi niya, and I looked down.
"Hey, Taehyung. You are not a failure. Okay? Never think of that. Kung failure ka ay lagi kang ibabash ng lahat ng mga tao at sasabihin yun sayo. Tignan mo, mahal na mahal ka ng mga ARMY. Mahal na mahal ka ng fans and they support you fully sa pangarap mo. I'm sure that your family also supports you the way the ARMY supports you. But they understand you better. Maiintindihan nila ng mas mabuti kung bakit hindi mo sila nakakausap. It is your job to please everyone. If you want to, we can go back to your home sometime. So you can see them again," sabi ko, and he smiled bitterly.
"How about my grandma? I miss her the most. Pero hindi na siya dito nakatira," he said, and I looked down dahil nakita ko ang heartbroken state niya. Hindi ko alam pero gusto ko siyang yakapin. "She lives in heaven now. Hindi ko man lang nun naipagmalaki sa kanya ang nakuha naming award dahil bago namin mareceive yun ay iniwan na niya ako. Ang sakit lang kasi, e. Hindi ko man lang siya nakita at nayakap bago siya mawala."
Para bang nagkaroon ng sariling utak yung katawan ko dahil niyakap ko nalang siya bigla. Kakawala na sana ako sa yakap kaso nga lang ay pinigilan niya ako at hinarap ako sa kanya para mas mayakap ng mabuti. He placed his head on my shoulder as I felt his tears stream down.
I closed my eyes at saka ko lang narealize na umiiyak na din pala ako. I hugged him tighter, and I guess that we were each other's comfort. I found comfort in his hug and he found comfort in mine.
I then heard his muffled scream as he hugged me tighter. Wasak na wasak siya sa harapan ko ngayon at parang nakita ko na ang totoong V Monteverde. Si Taehyung Monteverde. He is broken as much as I am. Maybe even more.
I rubbed his back, and I heard him groan and continue crying.
"Do I deserve this? Dahil ba inuna ko yung sarili kong pangarap? Dahil ba inuna ko ang pagiging myembro ng Bangtan kaya nawala sa akin ang isa sa mga pinakapinahahalagahan ko? Pinapaalam ba sa akin ng diyos na makasarili ako?" He asked, his voice raspy and his breathing ragged. I closed my eyes shut and I felt my tears fall.
He was really broken. I was hurting for him too.
"No. You don't deserve this, Taehyung. You shouldn't be experiencing this kind of pain, pero this is a part of everyone's life. Because pain demands to be felt. And I think you should treasure that moment, not because she is gone now, but because she is looking down at you in heaven and can now see you from up above na nakakamit ang mga pangarap mo. I think she will be happy for you. I bet she loves you so much," I said, and he nodded.
"She really does. She really does. At mahal na mahal ko din siya," sabi niya, at huminga ng malalim.
"You know, you're a really good guy, V. I think you're one of the purest people in this world. Please don't change and stay the same inspirational person that everyone looks up to. Maraming nagmamahal sayo, V." Sabi ko, and he chuckled. I was surprised, pero ayos na ako na marinig na ayos na siya ngayon.
"Thank you. Salamat ng marami, Marione. I didn't know you were a great listener. Thank you so much. You made me feel better at mas naintindihan ko na. I guess, you're not that bad as I thought," he said, and I gaped and smacked his shoulder causing him to laugh at humiwalay sa yakap.
"Masama to. I'm not bad. Ang bait bait ko kaya. Bad, V. Bad dog," sabi ko, and he smiled at me. Naweweirduhan ako, pero nakilala ko na ang totoong loob niya. Nakilala ko na kung sino ang katauhan sa loob ni V Monteverde.
"Hey. It's fine by me kung tawagin mo akong Tae or Taetae. You've gained the spot," he said, and I smiled softly at him.
"Sure. You can call me whatever you want. Just not Grassy. Mapapatay kita," sabi ko, and he smirked.
"Wow. Galing," he said, and I groaned.
"Tsk. Ewan ko sayo," sabi ko, and he laughed.
"Hatid na kita." Sabi niya, in a calm and fond voice kaya naman nagulat ako. Ang bait na niya sa akin, a.
"Wag na ayos lang,"
"Tsk. Hatid na kita. Kulit nito,"
"Fine,"
"Anong feeling ihatid pauwi ng bias mo?"
"Masama! Pabibo!"
"Totoo naman!"
"Anong pakiramdam ihatid pauwi ang bias mo?"
"H-Hoy! Wag mo akong binabaliktad!"
"Alam mo na pakiramdam! Letse,"
"Leche flan? Masarap yun,"
"Ewan ko sayo,"
"Hmm,"
YOU ARE READING
ethereal ♧ kim taehyung au
Fanfiction♧ bangtan series #2 ♧ ethereal /adj/ : something that seems out of this world. she thought he was out of this world, he thought she was out of this world. she likes him, he likes her. pero ni isa sa kanila ay wala man lang magawang pag-amin dahil s...
