Why Me?

Chapter 38

Her funeral. First was her wake the day before. I had to stand next to my father as people came in and told us they were sorry for our loss.

I couldn't look at her. I told my dad I wouldn't be able to. There's just something about looking at her all spiffied up and looking her best to be buried in the ground that I just couldn't handle.

There were flowers. Lots of them. Her favorite flowers were roses. Any color. They were draped along her casket. Red. White. Pink.

Every so often I just couldn't handle it. I'd start to cry a little and Luke knew he had to take me out. He'd take me to the little room just off the wake room. He'd hold me close, tell me it was okay to cry. When I would calm down, he took me back inside, where I would take my place next to my father and Luke would be directly behind me.

I wish it ended differently. I know Luke told me not to think about it, but I can't help it. The crash wasn't even her fault. A drunk driver smashed into her in a head on collision.

I walked over to where they were displaying pictures. There wasn't much time left for people to come. I looked through all the pictures. She looked so happy. Like there wasn't a care in the world. Like her daughter wasn't someone who defied her parents. I started to tear up. Strong hands turned me around and tried to clear my tears. Then he placed a kiss on my cheek. I looked into his eyes before softly kissing his lips.

"Do you want me to stay at your house tonight?" Luke asked.

"Could you? Please?"

He hugged me tight. "Of course I will."

Jesy and Michael walked in, along with Jesy's family. He mother was the first to hug me, telling me the same thing I've heard so many times already. Her father was the same way. Her brother just hugged me and said nothing. I turned to Jesy. She had tears in her eyes. I walked over to her and hugged her tight.

"I know she wasn't our favorite person sometimes, but she was like a second mother to me. I loved her so much. I wish it could've ended differently," Jesy whispered.

"I know," I whispered back. "But we can't change what happened. We just have to deal with it and try to move on with life. My mother wouldn't want us to grieve for her the rest of our lives. She'd want us to move on, find someone who makes us happy and raise a happy family." I turned to look at Luke and smiled a bit. He returned it. Then I looked at Michael. For the first time, really, I saw what kind of a person he was. His eyes were tearing up a little and shifting from my mom to my dad to me and Jesy. He's perfect for her.

I let her go. She walked over to Michael who pulled her into a small hug.

"Come here, Sara," Michael said. He gestured for me to join their hug. I slowly walked over and his arm wrapped around me. The three of us hugged each other for a while before Michael let me go.

I walked over to Luke. He grabbed my hand and we returned to our spot next to my father. I sat down on the chair behind us. Luke sat next to me and, sure enough, pulled me onto his lap. I giggled a little.

"What?" Luke asked with a smile.

"I found you love to pull me onto your lap," I answered.

"Is it really that noticeable?" I nodded. "Well you're just too adorable to not want to do it." He kisses my cheek which was a little red from blushing.

Luke makes me really happy. I wish my mom saw that sooner. She would've realized that Luke is good for me. I don't think he will ever leave me, and I don't want him to. I hope he stays forever.