Without You

Birthday Dinner

*November 12, 1999*

Today was Sara's 25th Birthday.

Stevie was making Sara a birthday dinner for only their family. Christopher, his wife Lori, which happened to be one of Stevie's best friends and backup singers, and Jessica would be joining them. Also Stevie's parents, Barbara and Jess flew to Los Angeles to celebrate with everyone.

The house was loud as the younger children played outside and were running in and out of the house. The older kids were mingling with one another and were hanging out in the entertainment room.

Stevie and Barbara were in the kitchen cooking and talking. While Lindsey and Jess were in the living room watching television, a baseball game was on.

Lindsey soon got lost in his thoughts. He loved his family with all his heart. He loved Stevie and couldn't imagine his life without her. Same with his daughters. But, as he watched the baseball game, he began to think of how much he wanted a son.

Sure he had Isabella to share his love of sports with and she was the closest to a son he'll ever get, but she was still a girl. He couldn't help but want a son to carry on the Buckingham name.

He and Stevie would argue whenever he would bring it up. It used to make Stevie feel less than, and a failure.

With each of Stevie's pregnancy, Lindsey prayed for a boy. Then with each birth, he would be a little disappointed. But he still loved his daughters nonetheless.

He had realized how this would make Stevie feel, so he stopped bringing it up. Now, he knew Stevie was close to that age when having babies was no longer possible.

He and Stevie had been trying to have another baby after Aria was born but Stevie quickly hated having to take a pregnancy test and having each one come back with a negative result. She couldn't take the pain of not being able to give Lindsey a son so, he quickly let her know that it was okay.

"It's alright, Stevie. We don't have to try anymore." Lindsey had said to Stevie after an argument. "I'm sorry I've made you feel as if I wasn't grateful and I'm sorry for making you think that you were a failure. I was just being selfish and got lost inside my own head."

Lindsey walked closer to Stevie and gently held her head with both hands. He gently wiped her tears away with his thumbs and smiled. "Thank you, Stephanie, for giving me seven of the most beautiful and wonderful gifts I could have ever asked for. I love our girls and I feel so blessed to be their father. Can you forgive me?"

Stevie's tears started again as she heard his sincere words and she smiled through her tears. "Oh, Lindsey. Of course, I forgive you. Can we just drop this subject and never speak of it again?"

Lindsey caressed her cheeks with his thumbs and said. "Of course. I love you, Steph."
"I love you too, Linds." She replied.

That conversation was three years ago and Lindsey never spoke out loud that he was still longing for a son.

Lindsey then thought about Sara. His little girl was soon getting engaged. He was sad but happy for his daughter. He then smiled a little at the thought of being a grandfather. Maybe Sara and Michael will give him a grandson in the near future.

Just then the doorbell rang. Lindsey got pulled out of his thoughts and stood up to answer the door.

He opened the door and said with a smile. "Happy Birthday, baby girl!" He pulled Sara into a hug.
"Thanks, daddy." Sara said as she pulled away.

Michael then steps inside and greets Lindsey. Lindsey returns the greeting then they all go into the living room.

As soon as Sara walked into the living room, she was surrounded by her sisters. They all greeted her with a hug and gave Sara their Happy Birthday wishes.