Bad at Love

Chapter 5 - Deception and Pain

A couple hours later, we decided to go back to the village.
As we reached there, Tatia came running to me in tears.
"Jessika!"
She cried instantly hugging me
"Tatia what's the matter?!"
I asked hugging her back.
Niklaus and I exchanged looks for worry.
"It's my husband!He's been....killed in battle!" Tatia said crying.
"Oh Tatia...I am so sorry....come on..let's go get you some tea and we shall see if your mother will take Asta for awhile"
I said putting an arm over her shoulder and walking her back to her home. I looked back seeing Niklaus and Elijah watching as we left.
"What happened?"
I asked pouring Tatia some tea
"I-I do not know...one of the soldiers told me that he had been pierced with an arrow through the throat and bled to death before he could be saved..they told me he wanted me to know that he wanted me to live happy and move on..for our daughter and for myself"
She said as I handed her a cloth for her face.
I sighed hugging her
"It's going to be okay...I promise...things will turn around in time...I have been here for you all your life and I will be here for you now Tatia. Nothing will ever change that"
I said as she cried on my chest.
That night we had a viking funeral for Tatia's husband...
Although it was a tradition for wives to throw themselves on his funeral pyre, she chose to live for her daughter and herself..as he so asked....
2 weeks had gone by and Elijah was there to comfort her when I wasn't....it's not that I didn't want to, Elijah and I simply took turns being there for her and on another note I had been feeling sick for the last couple days...
I was throwing up and just so so tired. I hadn't come out of my home for 4 days now...
I'm sure my friends and Niklaus were wondering why...
"Jessika!Niklaus has stopped by to see you"
My mother said as she entered my room
"I'm not feeling well"
I said hiding under the covers but Niklaus had already walked in.
"Jessika you haven't felt well in days...at least say hello"
My mother said and left
"Do you no longer wish to be with me?"
Niklaus asked kneeling beside my bed
"Of course not Niklaus.I really have been ill...I do not know what is wrong with me"
I said worriedly. Niklaus looked worried for me as well. He'd never seen me afraid of anything, aside from our fathers but anything else...no... fearless..so it worried him to see me so scared
"What do you think it could be?"
He asked feeling my forehead
"You feel fine"He said worried.
"I'm worried..we made love..could it be..I might be..with child.."
I said as a tear fell...
"Even if you are, you know I would never leave you...you know I would stay and be a better father then our fathers ever were...I would take care of us Jessika...you know that"
Niklaus said as he scooted in my bed and cuddled me. I sighed feeling better hearing that.
"If this is pregnancy...it's god awful..I vomit at least 4 times in the morning, I usually have no appetite and I'm always tired...I'm scared to tell anyone"
I said sadly.
"Well why don't you come over tonight.I shall wait for you to come and we can see if mother can do a spell to find out, but I won't breathe a word until you are there..besides..I'd enjoy your company"
Niklaus said smiling. I smiled back at him
"If I am feeling well then I shall happily go...I'll come find you if I am better"
I said biting my lip. He looked a tad disappointed but nodded nonetheless.
"Alright love...feel better then"
He said kissing my forehead and leaving. I sighed and went back to sleep...
Later that night I was feeling much better, so I got up and made my way to Niklaus' house....
There...
I saw Niklaus and Tatia up against a tree kissing....my heart shattered....
I walked right past them and into the house.
I knew Niklaus saw me. I instantly went to Elijah
"I can not believe this"
I said as I cried
"What's the matter Jessika?"
Elijah said hugging me
"Niklaus..-"
"Jessika"
Niklaus came in feeling guilty as ever. Tatia behind him
"That was nothing! Jessika we were caught up in the moment. I was talking about Damian and we let our feelings get the best of us"
Tatia said out of breath. I glared at them as tears fell.
"It surely looked like nothing.Niklaus you have played with my heart for too long..you have shattered it....I will never forgive you"
I said as tears fell and I walked to Elijah's room. Elijah stroked my hair as I cried....
"Do you need anything Jessika?Something to drink or eat?"
Elijah asked gently. I sighed nodding my head
"A drink of wine would be nice"
I said honestly.
"I'll be right back"
He said and walked off. He then came back with a cup of whine.
"Here you are"
He said as he had his own.
"Cheers...to having your heart broken"
Elijah said sadly.
"Tatia has played with your heart as well?"
I asked sadly.
"Well it is clear now that Tatia only wants Niklaus...I propose we stick together in this time of need"
Elijah said. I sighed
"I suppose.."
I said in a depressing way.
Him and I clanked chalices and drank our entire cups.
"That tasted rather strange"
I said licking my lips
"Yes...almost metallic"
He said. I sighed shaking my head.
"I am going to relieve myself. I'll be back"
I said and walked off...
When really...
I went into Esther's room of magic...
where she kept all the things she needed...
I wasn't even sure what I was looking for until I found a bottle of poison.
I had decided having the child of someone who did not want me was no way to live...
I'd have a bastard child and I'd be exiled...
That would be no way for a child to live. I took the bottle and ran out the house.