Poetry: Symmetry and Reflections

Sober

if my thoughts were anything
I swear they'd be a leaf on a windy day
blowing in the breeze, doing as it pleases
jumping from one thing to another
ceaselessly, restlessly, endlessly obsessing over things
stumbling and bumbling about like a drunk
I just want my mind to be sober

overthinking, overreaching, exaggerating every detail
stringing out and wringing out every word and action
trying to make sense out of nothingness
attempting to make the insanity of the world sane
this process is only in vain
yet still my mind goes back to the bottle
I just wish my mind was sober

driving myself absolutely crazy, lost in my head
mind in the clouds, wandering about half-dead
and then wondering why I feel so lost
my heart tells my mind to stop
so my mind passes the bottle
my heart takes a swig, and before too long
my heart is now in A.A.
I'm telling my mind to get sober

now my mind covers my heart, making me blind
I know what I want, but then change my mind
obsessing and stressing over, then leaving behind
whatever I'm searching for, I seem to never find
what's now vague seemed so well-defined
I feel so separate from my own kind
is this whole thing spiritual, emotional, or just in my mind?
I have no clue how to break these ties that bind

...and even though I don't need answers, I still search
...and even though I should trust, I look for security
...and even though I've already won, I still fight
...and even though I have truth, it's not enough
...and even though I know better, I still act ignorant
...and even though I'm loved unconditionally, I still look for approval

I know all these things, You tell me all the time
but I have so much trouble hearing it
I'm too drunk to listen
help me, I'm relapsing
or can you use this somehow, to show others the way?
is this just a hand I need to know how to play?
or will this be over?
I must accept I may never know what it's like
for my mind to be sober