Poetry: Symmetry and Reflections

O'Endless Night

I toss & turn, no sleep this night

My mind again aflight, pondering, wondering

Of things that could be, should be, would be

Frustration at all of this

My thoughts endlessly churning, burning with confusion

So many unanswered questions

looming on the forefront of my mind

And in vain I search, yet never find.

This pain that never seems to recede, it impedes

It comes and goes as it pleases

Thinking at times it’s over, it teases, and creeps back in

It’s maddening, saddening, taking me by storm

Taking me for a ride I can never get off

I cry out to You, O God, asking why

Seeking these answers You keep hidden from me

Not understanding why I must endure this

Feeling like I might go insane at this

Feeling like I’m taking the blame for this

And trying to accept that which is now

But I find no solace there, and how?

My being still in need of repair

Things better than they were, I’m still not quite there

The road ahead seems hard

It looms on forever so unreal and long

but I’ll stay strong

And I will guard my heart well, with it being so weak

It being crushed, torn, toyed with

But I cannot accept defeat

This year has been longer than it should

And never easily forgotten

Yet I know in my heart

As long as I grow and I learn

It won’t be in vain.

So let these restless thoughts wrestle on

In time they will wear down, and give up and move on

And what “is” will be accepted

and what “will be” can be worked towards

and knowing the outcome is beyond my control

I’ll do the best I can

And try to enjoy this journey we call hardship because

“Weeping lasts for the night,

yet joy comes in the morning.”