A Shackled Unknown

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when this feeling comes, I have no words

desperate attempts in nouns, adjectives and verbs

not knowing this thing is what's worse

so much that's building, it's as if I may burst

I grasp at this phantom who lives to evade me

just when it seems clear, immediately it's fading

slipping through my fingers, grasping at straws

feeling as though something is wrong

my head in a cage,wishing thoughts free

thoughts that somehow this problem is me

when things are bright now I still feel dark

separated and estranged, silently set apart

this thing I don't know is wearing me thin

yet I won't and will not let this thing win

this shackled unknown is my ball and chain

the more desperate I try, the more it's in vain

why can't I relax and swallow this pill?

something seems off, choking me still

some shadow is following me, waiting to act

so all of my choices I wish to redact

the shadow is laughing at my every move

so I try even harder, something to prove

this shadow distracts so I'll lose my thought

and forget the whole reason that this battle's fought

the shadow whispers lies, knowing I'll believe

his purpose here nothing more than to deceive

the shadow will leave but always returns

the haunting of me is what it yearns

the shadow stays near to remind where I've failed

the stench of sin and regret soon becomes stale

the shadow seems a part of me, a part that I've hated

I never can be rid of the monster I've created

but in the end I find solace in the truth

i've known the answer all along, even since youth

that where this world's darkness holds us frozen,

doesn't mean the light within is broken

the mist that fogs memories to make a past seem worse

is simply an illusion, it doesn't mean I'm cursed

though dark winds may blow and at times seem dire

it will only waver but never extinguish the fire.

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