Back To You (Completed)

Chapter 23

  I was in the waiting room running up and down. My shirt had turned from blue into red and i was ready to march into the surgery room. It felt days later when the doctor came out.

  " Mr Eisenhauer ? "

  " I am here. How is she ? ", i asked nervously with my hands still covered in blood. I even had blood stains in my face.

  " She is in a good state dispite the circumstances. The bullet didn't harm any vital organ so we easily managed to remove it and stop the bleeding. She has a few broken ribs now but she will be fine and within a month she will no longer be in pain ". I finally breathed. Still the doctor seemed like he had something else to say but he hesitated.

  " Is there something else wrong ? ", i asked worried.

  " Mr Eisenhauer your wife was pregnant. Unfortunately she lost the baby during surgery. The pregnancy was in an early stage. Five weeks or so. I am very sorry for your loss "

  " Thank you ", i managed to mutter surprised. She was pregnant again.

  " We used a condom ", i whispered to Max who was standing a bit later beside me with his hand on my back. "  That night, in her father's house. We used a fucking condom ".

   " Condom or not these things happen man "

   She woke up the next morning in pain. I had slept in the hospital on the couch next to her bed. After the surgery, i talked to the police and then i had to make sure she would be safe when we would be back home. I was holding her hand and when i felt a weak squeeze  instantly went beside her.

  " Hey "

  " Hey. Is there any water ? ", she asked looking pale. I gave her some water and stroking her hair i said i needed to call the doctor. She stopped me asking me to explain what had happened.

  " Someone shot you. We are still trying to find them. You were lucky. The bullet broke only some ribs and... ", i stopped fidgeting not knowing how to say it.

  " What ? Andrew tell me... what...Andrew..."

  " The night we...we had sex at your parents house you got pregnant. Unfortunately the baby couldn't make it through surgery. We lost it ". Tears appeared in her eyes and asked for her mother. I left the room feeling somehow guilty.

  She stayed at the hospital five more days. She was healing fast but i could see the shadow in her eyes. She became distant, didn't want me to stay with her at night and avoided looking me in the eye. When we got back home i knew things were getting worse since she wanted to sleep alone. I felt shuttered and i knew she wanted out of our marriage. I decided to give her some time to think through but things we getting even worse between us. She was distant, silent and spoke only if necessary. She didn't even look at my face. I was broken too but i knew she had been through a lot. I wanted her to scream at me, hit me, cry whatever. I wanted her to express her anger towards me. I wanted us to move on. I needed a reaction from her but nothing.

  Three weeks later she was watching some TV show when i got back home from the office. I went upstairs, had a shower and went downstairs again even though i knew she would prefer to be alone. Yet,  i had missed her so much and i wanted to know how she felt. This silence drove me crazy. Her attitude was killing me slowly. I sat beside her on the couch without talking at first. I was determined to end this torture.

   " You want to leave me, don't you ? ", i asked almost whispering. She got up walking away from the living room. I followed her to the kitchen knowing it was now or never.

  " Answer me ", i demanded grabbing her arm.

  " You are hurting me ", she said and i immediately let her go.

  " Just tell me what you want me to do "

  " And you will do it ? "

  " I will. I promise "

   I knew that from the minute she said it my heart would be shuttered into a million pieces but for some cruel reason i needed to hear it. I was way too much in love with her to make her stay this time. I knew that now i got a good taste of her it would be ten times worse to recover but i had no other choice.

  " I want to go. I can't just be with someone because it's convenient. Because it's the logical thing to do. I can't be married to a man i can't forgive. A man i have no actual feelings for. I need to find myself and i don't think this marriage is gonna help. We are not good for each other", she said ripping me apart and instantly i  knew that it would take years to heal that wound she had just opened. If it ever healed. I felt my heart beat so fast but i gathered all my strength to face her.

  " I am sorry. I really am. I wanted a baby too ", i struggled to speak as trying to make her change my mind.

  " Which one ? ", she asked ironically.

  " Both ", i replied looking intently into her eyes. " Either way you win. You can leave whenever you want ".

  I left the kitchen running upstairs. I had this sharp pain and now i thought my chest was going to explode. I stayed awake all night and when the first light invaded my room through the curtains i left for the office. Nick called three hours later to tell me she left the house. Almost like a robot i entered the next meeting.