Human // c.d

32

Letting myself out of his tight grip on me, I sat at the edge of the bed, running my fingers over my eyes. Honestly I slept pretty good cuddled up to him all night, and I hate to admit that I slept better than I have in the past few months. I didn't change positions every five minutes, and I no longer had to pretend my body pillow was Cameron. That's weird to admit, but it's true. Isn't it bad that I missed his presence so much that I had to pretend he was my damn pillow.

I stood up from the bed and found myself out on the deck outside of Cameron's room. It was nice out here, with the chilled morning air and the dark, early sky being a good mixture.

There were a couple of chairs set out here, but I rather stand and look over the deck. The city lights were beautiful, it was like a dream being out here. Nothing seemed real.

My eyes were half opened due to my tiredness, and I'm stupid for being up this early. I blame my thoughts for waking me up. Is it bad that I had a dream about Madison Beer? It was a replay of what happened at the restaurant.

God I need to know who she is.

"What are you doing out here?" Cameron's morning, raspy voice didn't frighten me, and somehow I knew he'd wake up and find me out here.

I shrugged my shoulders, my elbows propped up onto the railing. I'd rather stare at the city lights than his dark eyes.

But, the one glance I did get of him, his hair was sticking up terribly, and his black tight boxers were all his body held.

He stood next to me, his arm touching mine.

"The lights are beautiful aren't they?" He asked, receiving a careless nod from me. He sighed.

"Why are you up so early?" His attempt to start a conversation with me is pathetic.

"Why are you?" I asked him. I wasn't looking at him, because the more I did, the more frustrated I get.

"Jessi." He said, noticing my attitude towards him. What, did expect me to treat him like I did last night? I was drunk, didn't know what I was doing. Or at least that's the story I'm sticking with.

"I think I should leave." I admitted, kind of scared of his reaction. I haven't thought this through, but now that I think about it, leaving looks like a good option.

"What? You mean leave leave?" He asked, suddenly interested in what I'm saying. His eyes were more wide, body closer to mine.

"What else would I have meant?" I stared at the mess of a boy, his brown eyes attached to me it seems. I knew that he didn't want me to, but it was only an idea. I mean, what's the point in staying here whenever we barely get along, better yet talk.

"No, why? You can't." He said, "It hasn't even been three days yet." He's persuading me to stay, how cute.

"It's been two, non talking days." I mentioned, "Sorry, I just don't see the point in staying. All your doing his torturing me." I said.

"Torturing you?" He asked, actually confused.

"Yes, torturing me, I didn't stutter." I was so pissed off, all of the built up anger I've had for him is finally coming out.

"How am I?" I ignored the small smile his lips had formed, taking my eyes away from him and back at the city. The sun was coming up, the sky light.

"I don't know." I whispered, lying straight to his face.

"And please tell me who the hell Madison Beer is. It's driving me insane. You seemed to be real interested in her." I gritted my teeth, my voice raising.

"I'm not.. Interested in her." He spoke up like a man for once.

"Why'd your face turn red whenever she walked over to the table?"

"Because I don't like her, and things were getting weird."

"You were ashamed of me weren't you?"

"No."

"Yes."

"No I wasn't," he said, "Jessi,'if I would have told her about me and you, there's no telling what she would have done. She's a bitch."

I nodded, waiting to hear more.

"She made up this crazy rumor that me and her were together, the fans went crazy. If you think you get hated on, you should see the things they say to her." My mind was blown, and for the first time I feel like he's actually talking to me.

"So you don't like her?" I asked for one last time.

"No. Of course not. I don't like anyone." His words kind of hurt a little, and I was scared by what he even meant by that.

My eyes dropped and I felt my face go red. How dare he say that? That just confirms that he doesn't have feeling for me anymore..

"Hey." He grabbed my hand, "I love you." He laughed.

If I thought my mind was blown earlier, I must be crazy.

Saying the first thing that came to my head, "So do all people ignore who they love?"

"How did I know you were going to say that?" He half smiled, half frowned.