Human // c.d

98

"Hey." His voice was so dull, which was the one thing I didn't want to hear. I wanted him to answer the phone worriedly about me, and tell me he didn't mean anything he said, but now that the only thing he said was "hey", I'm starting to think he actually meant it.

"Did you really mean what you said Cameron? That if I leave then I shouldn't come back? Please tell me you didn't mean that because I really need to know that you didn't." I was still crying over Julian, and I just need to hear Cameron's voice, dull or not, so that it can distract me.

"How's everything going? Is your dad okay?" He fucking ignored every word I just cried out to him.

"Will is fine." I groaned through my cries, and realize I lied to him. Will isn't fine.

"Okay." He said, his voice monotone. "Are you okay?"

I ignored him, doing everything in my power not to cry, especially over the phone. I pulled the phone away from my ear, partially wiping the mascara that's covered underneath my eyes, and looked hopelessly up at the ceiling. I thought maybe Cameron would make things better, but honestly he only makes me want to cry more. I heard him say my name, but ignored it, knowing he wouldn't hang up on me.

"What's the matter with you Cameron?" I almost screamed, standing from the floor. "I don't understand what you want." I cried.

"I want you." He sighed, "and I'm a selfish jerk, okay? You're focusing your attention on a jackass who was never there for you, and you just left. I love you so much, and I just want to look out for you."

"You telling me not to visit my dad in the hospital isn't 'looking out for me'. And maybe there's a reason why he wasn't there for me Cameron, you don't know!" I screamed and this time it was loud, and I had to force myself not to apologize to him.

"Jessi stop." He said, "Just come back home, please."

"No. I'm not- I'm not leaving my d- Will and Julian here alone. They need me." I kept my voice lower, but it was quite obvious that I was annoyed with his non understandable attitude.

Cameron understands everything, why can't he understand this? Maybe it's because he doesn't know that Will is unconscious, and that I'm just staying here for the hell of it.

"They need you? Jessi, they weren't even the ones who called you. They didn't even know you were coming."

"Don't make me feel bad about this." I grunted, pacing back and fourth in the bathroom.

"All I'm saying is that if you continue to stay, you're just going to hurt yourself even more."

Silence.

"And to let you know- I didn't mean what I said. I thought you'd know me good enough to see through my lie."

"And I thought I knew you good enough to know you wouldn't say something like that to me. It really hurt, and you owe me a fucking apology." I'm taking my sadness mixed with anger out on him, and I know it.

"Okay, I'm sorry." He said, and I rolled my eyes at least five times before saying something.

"All you have to say is 'I'm sorry'? Really?" I bellow, crossing my arms.

I heard him sigh, "I'm sorry Jessi, I said something stupid that I obviously didn't mean, and I take it all back. I'd never actually mean something like that, and I'm a jerk for even saying it to you. I love you, okay?"

"Can you just come up here? Please? Is that just.. too much to ask? Because I'm not leaving here for a while and I really want you here." I said lowly.

"You want me to come there?" He asked shockingly, and I knew he didn't want to, but I'm asking anyways.

"Yeah. I want you here. If it were you, I would come in a heartbeat, so can you please just do this for me? I'm begging you."

"Okay" he said, and my eyes widened in excitement.

"Wait, so you're coming? Really?" I held onto my head, running my fingers though my messy hair.

"Yeah, I'll come." He said. "Since obviously this is important to you.."

I mentally thanked him, smiling against the phone. I won't have to face all of this alone now, since Cameron will be here.

"Okay, I'll see you soon then. I love you." I said confidently.

"I love you too."

"Oh- and hey uhm. Can you bring my charger?"