Regrets

47

* a few years later *

"Do you understand my reasons now?" My mom asks me , sitting adjacent to me

"Yeah" I simply say, taking a sip from my tea

"You can't always balance your love life and your work life. I couldn't. And it seems that you couldn't either. I know you hated me back then, but now, you know exactly how I felt"

"Mom, can we please stop talking about this? My case has nothing to do with yours. You left us for another man. And didn't even care about me, or Cole, or Sky until a few years ago. Shawn and I just decided to break off the engaged, since we were both too busy. And Art is happy. We are still a family you know" I say, standing up and walking to the kitchen

4 years ago, Shawn and I decided that being together was not as ideal as we thought. So, we cancelled the wedding and decided to be there for Art and each other.

That doesn't mean that I don't have feelings for him.

And I'm still working out my relationship with my mom. She comes over twice a month and likes to compare my life to hers

Little does she know that we have almost nothing in common. Almost

The weirdest part is that neither Shawn nor I have moved on

Anyways, Shawn is working on his new album right now. I have only heard some small demos but I can already say that this album is amazing.

A couple of hours later, my mom decides to finally go home.

"I thought she would never leave" Art nags as he comes out his room

"She is your grandma and you know she loves you"

"Yeah but she always makes my hair messy when she hugs me and that's not cool"

"I know but she's your grandma" I say, not being able to come up with a better excuse or explanation

We decide to watch an animated movie together, but Art falls asleep half way through the movie. I slowly stand up, making sure not to wake him up. He's 7 now and you can totally say that he looks just like Shawn.

I walk around the living room, picking up Art's books and toys and putting them in place. And as I pick one of his book's up, I find one of Shawn's CDs

I , sometimes, believe that I'm stupid because I still have feelings for Shawn. Well, it's complicated because the truth is that I love him but I don't know if you could ever be able to get back with him.

He is an amazing father, and I have to admit that. He always spends time with Art, and even finds time for him and I when he's on tour.

Something that I couldn't do when we were together because I was constantly busy. But now, I'm working from home and have the opportunity to spend quality time with my son.

I slowly drift to sleep, but then door bell jerks me awake. I stand up carefully, in order not to wake Art up.

I open the door and freeze when I see him

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I published a new story called 'When you're ready' go check it out if you way. Also, sorry for not updating for long❤️