The Memory (The Wanted Fan Fic.)

33 Flashbacks

I woke up crying. The memories were just flooding through my head again. I couldn't take it anymore! This feeling of sorrow and hate, it sucked.

I wiped my eyes and slowly made my way to the bathroom. I looked disgusting and worthless. My flaws were shining making me feel ugly.

The mirror was also a cabinet so I opened it, searching for my toothbrush. My eyes fell upon my eyeliner sharpener. When was the last time I put on eyeliner? It's probably lost somewhere in my room.

I bit my lip hard. Fuck it.

I grabbed and began to tear it apart. Shit, I need a screwdriver. Would a butter knife work? I quickly made my way to the kitchen.

I opened the drawer where I put all the utensils and took the knife. Carefully and slowly I began to unscrew it. Just like I had thought, the knife was taking longer. I was getting impatient. Why was I using a knife?

I set it down on the counter and stared at the screw long and hard. Then it came loose. I took a deep breath before grabbing the blade.

How many people would I hurt if I do this, a part of me asked. Nobody if they never find out, the other part of me answered.

I placed the blade on my wrist, not leaving a cut, not just yet.

Before I could give in to that bad side a hand grabbed mine causing me to drop the blade. Then the figure pulled me into a hug. A bony hug, I might add. It was Oliver.

I guess I forgot to lock the door... like always.

"Please don't tell Cordelia," I murmured tearing up.

"Only if you promise to never try and hurt yourself again," he pulled away looking at me.

"I promise," I whispered.

<>

Thursday.

Oliver hasn't brought up my meltdown to anyone. As long as he kept my promise, I kept mine. Oliver made me flush the blade right in front of him. It'd be easy to get another though.

I put on a fake smile for everyone. Jay didn't even notice. After lunch school went by fast. Me and Oliver sat in last period with only ten minutes left. He was sleeping.

I lightly nudged him.

"What?" he moaned. "I'm trying to be unconscious."

I lightly laughed. "Don't make me tell Mr.Carlile your progress on your worksheet."

"You wouldn't," he sneered.

I slowly raised my hand and as it did, so did Oliver. I smiled putting it down before Mr.Carlile could see.

"So Saturday huh?" he asked.

"Yes! California."

"You're excited obviously!"

"Who wouldn't be?"

"Me," he mumbled.

"But why? California is so amazing."

"I know, it just sucks you're leaving is all."

"Oh. Well I'll be back soon enough."

"Seven days, a week."

"It'll go by fast, promise," I assured.

<>

Oliver still had no idea about Jay and I. Maybe this was the right time to tell him? At my apartment where no one would bother us. Plus if he reacted badly no one else would see.