Secret affairs - ncis tiva fan fiction

Tony and me.

~ziva~

I walked up to tonys apartment, and knocked on the door.

He opened it, he looked so handsome, like his hair looked really nice, and he was dressed smartly

We were both checking each other out.

"Ziva you look so beautiful." Tony told me, i blushed like usual, he placed his hand on my cheek and i leant in to kiss him, Tony kissed me back..

The kiss between us deepened, i was still on tonys door step.

Tony picked me up and had me resting over the top of my shoulder as he carried me in.

I didn't like being carried like this - being touched i wasn't used to it.

"Lets get rid of these, i don't like them." Tony told me whilst removing the high heels off my feet.

"Tony we need to chat? shall we now?" i asked him,

"Yeah, i made some food to, like if your hungry and stuff." He told me.

Aw so cute, he made an effort for me.

"im not hungry."

"I havent seen you eat anything today, you need to eat ziva." he told me.

"Don't." I sighed, I didnt want this type of conversation, I thought we were going to talk about other stuff.

"don't? ziva all im telling you is that you need to eat."

"stop. Why do you even care Tony?" I snapped.

"because I care about you." he spoke quietly like he didnt want me to hear, but I did.

"Tony I-" I began to reply, but got interupted by tony.

"-ziva you don't have to feel the same, i just wanted you to know that."

I want Tony Dinozzo to be mine, i want him all to myself..

"you wont even let me get a word in." I truly told him what I thought.

"because im worried that you will say that you don't like me or something I dont want you to say."

"like i said: you wont even let me get a word in so..."

"talk then ziva. Tell me how you feel."

"well tony. I..im not used to this kind of stuff, and I don't know if you're using me or if we'll last." I sighed.

"I would never do that to you ziva!"

"You've done it to plenty of other girls!"

"Yeah that was different, i really like you ziva."

"I bet you say that to all the girls." i snapped, not realising what i had said until it was too late. I had made Tony sound like a complete playing douche bag, when he wasn't that at all.

"im sorry Tony. I didnt mean to say that, I didnt mean for it to come out like that." I sighed whilst trying to explain what I really meant.

"No Ziva. Its okay.. its just nice to know how you think of me." he replied and then he left the room leaving me alone.

shit.

im sorry.

I don't know what to do?

I think i'll just go to be honest.

And with that i did, i did leave Tonys and drove back to my place.

***

I pulled up to my apartment, and went in there.

I thought tonight would be special.

I thought me and tony could be together.

I sighed, and hung my coat up on the coat racks.

Then i went into my bedroom and sat on my bed.

I'm meant to be with the man i love, the man i have always loved.

But no, i fucked up the only opportunity i ever had, now Tony won't probably even talk to me again.

I don't blame him.

No one ever wants me..

I see why.

I understand.

I had all the depressive and negative thoughts in my head.

I went into the cupboard, and got a bottle of vodka out, and then a knife out of the kitchen draw.

I downed the bottle of vodka, and begun to cut along with all the depressive thoughts.

I have had enough of this.

My life.

I give up.

***********************************

A/N

Sorry i took so long, this was really hard to write :// , next update hopefully soon?

Thanks for reading my fans <3

Short chapter i know...

But yeah.

Unedited, probs loads of mistakes tbh.

Ill make the next one better :)

Please

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Freya xx