Secret affairs - ncis tiva fan fiction

Loss

~ziva~

My father was gone.

I was the last of the David family.. Well there's Daisy, but she's Tali's kid and deserves so much better.

The whole car journey home with Tony was just dead silence, it was so awkward...

I kept finding myself crying, i guess i'm an orphan now..

I just want to hurry up get home already, thankfully Michelle could babysit Daisy for the night due to the events that had previously happened.

This didn't feel real to me, in fact it felt so unreal.

I don't think i'll be able to get over this, i really don't.

No one understands...

Well i guess now, i'm back to where i started.. Alone... All alone, i guess i always have been whether i supposedly have a perfect family of my own or not.

Home.

I was finally home, except from one thing. This didn't feel like home anymore, i'm unsure to what home is. After everything that i had been through with my father, i always thought that maybe my home would always be in Israel as it's my native country... But i guess i'm wrong.

"Come on, lets get you inside." Tony muttered, before picking me up bridal style.

"TONY PUT ME DOWN!" I full on shouted at him, i don't know. I'm just really not in the mood for his playfulness.. There's a time and a place, and this certainly isn't the time and place. Tony instantly put me down, thank goodness if he didn''t i'm pretty sure i would've freaked out at him.

"You're so stressy Ziva." Tony rolled his eyes, before walking besides me... Stressy? Well how does he expect me to be? Am i supposed to be happy that my father, my last living relative has just died and that i'm now officially an orphan?

I think i should be alone..

We went into my apartment...

"Tony tonight, i really think i should be alone." I told him...

"You seriously think i'm going to let you spend tonight by yourself Ziva? Your own father has just died. Don't think that i don't know what you'll be doing; you'll be cutting yourself and don't even deny it Ziva... And i'm not letting that happen." Tony folded his arms... Ugh why can't he just do what i want for once?

"Tony, can't you appreciate the fact that maybe i would like to be by myself? Get through this by myself like i do with everything else.. I guess Tony you don't know anything that has and is going on in my life." I slightly raised my voice, I didn't mean to. I guess i'm just getting fustrated with the whole situation.

"Well Ziva i'm sorry for caring... It's not my fault i'm in love with you! Why can't you see and understand that? I.Love.You.Ziva.David."  He sighed.

Me being bitch... "Well maybe your love just isn't enough for me Tony." I mumbled... I had just realised what i had said.. Now i'm going to be full of regret, i already am.

"What is your problem Ziva? Everything i do for you, everything that i have done for you and it's not fucking enough! What do you except from me? What do you want from me?" Tony began to shout at me, this is really bad... He's never shouted at me before.

"I'm sorry Tony. I'm sorry that all i've brough to you is pain and nothing else! I didn't mean for this.. I didn't mean to hurt you in any of this. But look i  hurt you, without even meaning to... Everyone i love ends up dead Tony." I tried to make him feel sorry for me, but in reality i had only made the situation worse.

"EVERY FUCKING THING IS ABOUT YOU ZIVA. Tell me do you even care about me? Was any of this even real for you.. Or was it just to make you feel better about yourself? Because i don't know what to believe anymore Ziva, i love you. But you're not the women i fell in love with six years ago. You've changed." He told me, i felt tears slowly go down my face. I couldn't stop it, i couldn't control it.

I couldn't talk, i knew that my voice would croak.. And It's pretty obvious that Tony had already made up his mind about me, us..

"You can't even say anything.. It just goes to show doesn't it Ziva? You, your just selfish you only care about yourself. I'm going, i'll leave you alone. You can have whatever the fuck you want i really don't care anymore. But just know that i'll be collected Daisy from Michelles house, and i will win custody over her as your an unfit mother."  Why is he being so horrible.

"Please no Tony." I sobbed.

"Now you talk that i've mentioned Daisy..."

"Daisy is the last of my family Tony, please understand." I cried.

"But i thought i didn't understand you Ziva?  You want to know something, i'm leaving going right now, you can be by yourself, be alone.. In fact have a nice life. I'm done being in it, and i mean it Ziva i'm taking Daisy with me." Tony  told me, he then left my apartment and slammed the door behind him.

I'm now beyond hurt...

Broken. Nope that doesn't explain it.

I don't even know myself.

I slouched down onto the ground and began to cry.... This is awful, absolutely awful. I couldn't stop crying, i didn't see how life could get better. But i didn't cut myself, i couldn't.

Instead, i went into my bedroom and packed all my clothes, and other belongings into a large traveling bag..

If i can do one thing right, i can leave before i end up hurting anyone else.

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A/N

Hai guys, i really wanted to update so i did, but it took me like over an hour to write this up... This is not the end, i have one chapter before the sequel..  Next update, um maybe over the weekend, i'm currently unsure. It could be sooner as i want to finish this book..

Unedited, and i just typed this up literally.

Anyway thanks for reading <3

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Freya x