Secret affairs - ncis tiva fan fiction

I dont think i can do this anymore.

~ziva~

After my conversation with Gibbs, i feel so depressed.. I have an awful feeling in my stomach like i want to throw up, it's horrible. The problem is i haven't eaten for days, this is an on going problem.. Tony doesn't know, he doesn't realise.. Thank goodness.

"Ziva are you okay?" Michelle asked me,

"I'm fine.. I'm just having a Ziva moment." I lied through my teeth, and it's pretty clear that i'm lying, Michelle knows me too well.

"You are not fine Ziva! Anyone can see that." Michelle told me.

"Well i don't care what people think of me, i'm done. I'm actually thinking about grabbing my daughter, handing in my resignation and leaving this building.. If i leave i'll never come back.." I explained.

"Do you want to talk about it? Like what's happened?" Michelle asked me,

"No i'm just going to deal with it, deal with this pathetic job which was the biggest mistake of my life." I muttered, i didn't actually mean that.. it was just the heat of the moment.

"If you didn't take the job you wouldn't have Tony." Michelle pointed out.

"Like he's actually interested in me?! We all know what Tony's like.. Yeah maybe i love him sorta and maybe we're in a relationship.. but that doesn't mean we'll last." I said, unaware of anyone listening, shit.

"Well, i'm going back to my desk, you coming?" MIchelle asked me,

"Yeah i guess.. I've got no where else to be." I sighed before following Michelle back to my desk.

I took a seat at my desk, Tony saw me.. He took one glance before coming over towards my desk..

"Ziva what's wrong?" Tony asked me, before leaning fowards and tucking a bit of my hair back and stroking my cheek.

"Tony you can't just do that!! We're at work, If Gibbs finds out that we broke rule number twelve.. I'm going to get into even more trouble." I rolled my eyes, at all costs i just wanted to avoid Gibbs.

"What do you mean even more trouble? What's happened? Is this why you're upset?" Tony more a less questioned me, what's this 21 questions?

"It doesn't matter Tony." I sighed, i just wanted him to go and stop prying over me, i hate it when people do that... I have to be in the right mood, and currently i'm not.

"It does matter Ziva because you're upset.. Now tell me what's wrong and what's happen-" Tony ordered, but got interupted by Gibbs hand colliding with the back of his head, head slap.

"- She's fine Dinozzo, now get back to your desk. Or is there something i'm missing?" Gibbs glared at us.

"No Boss, of course not." Tony pratically sprinted back to his desk.. I do love him, but sometimes i wonder if he wants the same thing as me? Like one day, i want to move back to Israel as it's my native country...

I typed up my theory for our current crime scene case, everyone was working on it.. In fact even McGee was at his desk for once, rather than being down at Abby's lab like he usually is.. Abby and McGee, i swear there's something going on between them two.

At this very moment my temptation is getting the better of me, i have an empty document ready to type up my resignation and to hand it in to Gibbs.. Maybe it would make him feel guilty... NCIS was a mistake in my life.. But maybe it doesn't matter now, because it's become my life.

I have people around me who seem to care about me.. But it just doesn't feel like it, i always feel worthless, alone when i have loads of people around me, and upset... I'm always upset every single day.

**

Work finally came to an end.. Gibbs didn't talk to me for the rest of the work day after he had a go at me.. Guilty conscience? Well he should have one, because he upset me, he made me cry.. I don't understand why he's being like this.

I went to go and get Daisy from Abby's lab, whilst Tony continued to pack his stuff up.. We're having a family night in, just the three of us.

Once i had collected Daisy from Abby's lab, i thanked Abby before giving her a hug for her looking after Daisy.. I don't know if she can look after Daisy tomorrow as Gibbs got funny with me with the whole Daisy-Situation today..

I met with Tony and whilst we were waiting for the elevator.. Tony leant in and kissed me..

Is he forgetting something?

We're in a public place, and we can't be open about our relationship, as it could effect the whole NCIS team...

Anyway Tony kissing me like that.. I felt so anxious that night, worrying about who could of seen us, what the possible outcome could be from that..

And guess what?

I didn't know it at the time, but i was right about being anxious... Someone did see me and Tony kissing, i just didn't know that at the time.

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A/n

Sorry about the crappy update and that i took a while to update, i will try to update in the next upcoming days as i have the remaining chapters planned i just need to write them. i have a blurb sorted for my sequel, i just need to pick at name. Unedited like usual.

Im thinking of doing another NCIS fan fiction😂🙈 but this time not tiva...

Anyway thanks for reading💕

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