REPUTATION | PJM X OC (TO BE CONTINUED)

16

Here i am again, with a shot of soju on my hand drunk alone with my fake ass id, missing my old life with her.

Because the life i have right now might look fancy and perfect for some, especially since I'm just 18 years old and already making money out of my looks from modelling, having a lot of dedicated fan base.

But in reality? I'm tired, none of it was true.

My friends that always be seen with me are fake, every aspect of my life right now are manufactured, created by my  modelling agency to show off a perfect life of a new and young model like me, they made me a role model.

but how it is a role model when it's not even real?

my relationship with Shira was fake as well, thankfully i never announced it publicly.

it was fake because likewise, she was just for fun, i keep her to my self because i hate to be seen with someone that i know it won't last long.

but of course i told her that I'm scared she will get hurt by my fans.

as expected she got bored of me, bored? more like she knows she failed to make me announce the whole world that she was my girlfriend, that's why she left and go for an older man, thinking it will hurt me.

what a joke.

"fuck my head hurts." i whined after chugging down 5 shots of soju.

my sight was blurry, i need to text Namjoon.

Me:
Namjoon hyung...

fuck i texted a wrong number, why did i even text her? i guess even my fingers miss her.

'🌿' my mint.

how do i even begin to explain my mint? my minmin.

we grew up together, she was and probably still is the most honest person i know, i guess that's why I'm still hanging onto her, the only part of my life that's real and authentic.

i don't know much about her now, thanks for the fame. 🤡

she never wanted to be a center of attention but since puberty hit me like a fucking truck, everywhere i go i became a center of attention and it has come to a point where it hurts her as well.

i knew she got hurt by one of those girls who claimed themselves as my fans.

at first i thought i can solve it, i confronted them to fuck off and they did, until 1 day i saw her getting threats.

she received many disturbing things from them, and she hid it from me.

she never hid her feelings and emotions toward me before, like i said she was always true and honest to me.

then when i realized, it was too much for her.

i noticed how she always cry alone, mind you we were only 15.

what a 15 years old can do when they received death threats and disturbing stuff every day by simply being friends with me?

even for an adult it must be too much.

so i decided to stay away from her, for her own good.

i just watch her from a far.

it went well, i watched her getting comfortable in her own group of friends it's a small circle consist of 3 but she looks so joyful being around them.

it hurts me not going to lie seeing her happy without me.

she shines the brightest in her own small bubble.

but the night i was drunk and mistaken her as my brother, Namjoon.

it made me realize how much i miss her and i just can't let her go from my life again like i used to.

i sounded like a jerk, but every time life got so hard i always go to her, now i just go to her everyday because life gets hard when i miss her.

at first i thought i just missed my childhood friend, my best friend.

but then Park Jimin came to the picture.

i wanted to keep our distance as she requested me to do in school, but with Park Jimin in the picture? not happening.