I'll Be Good

18

When everyone is done we have to wait an hour before we know who is dauntless and who is not. I go with Ross and Tori to the dormitory.

'Tonight is our last night that we sleep here,' Tori says. Ross sighs.

'Finally,' he says. 'I think we all made it.'

'What do you mean?' I ask.

'I mean that all three of us are going to be dauntless.'

'I think so too,' Tori says with a smile and we hug each other. 'Lets start with packing our bags. We need to wake up early tomorrow to get the best job and apartment.

'I can't wait to live with just the three of us,' Ross says. I get a bag and stuff my clothes into it, not bothering to fold them up nicely. I don't know how to feel. I think I made it, so I'm not worrying a lot about that. It's just a that Eric just saw -what feels like- everything. I wish I could erase it from his memory. I don't want him to know. I don't.

-

We head down to the dining hall, which is packed. I get flashbacks from my fear landscape. I grab the arms of Ross and Tori.

'Lets stand in the back!' I scream over all the loud noises. They nod, not questioning why I want that and I  appreciate that a lot. My heart is pounding fast. I see Eric, he is talking to someone and my stomach turns. Am I jealous? Never mind.

We lean against the wall. Max steps up and gives a speech of how we came here and how we have grown and stuff like that. It feels weird coming from him, because he doesn't really know us. When Max is finished everyone starts clapping and cheering.

'And here are the rankings!' Max says on om a screen next to him appear names. I am too excited to see clear. People clap me on my back. I focus on the names. I am second! Some dauntless boy is first. I am second. Second! I quickly look for Ross and Tori. Ross is fifth and Tori seventh. We are all dauntless! The three of us hug. Everyone is screaming and making noise. I look over and see Eric. We lock eyes. I turn to my friends.

'I see you guys later, okay?' I say and am about to make my way towards Eric. However, Ross grabs my arm.

'You are going to Eric, aren't you?' He asks. Before I can say anything he goes on. 'You know, I used to be the reckless one. You got me out of trouble. That's how it is supposed to be. Not the other way around. I am sick of worrying, because I do, Ellis, I do worry about you. I love you. I care about you. We have been friends sinds we were six, how can't I love you? Please stay with us and celebrate with us for tonight.'

I give Eric one glance, but he is talking to someone else. I nod towards Ross. We leave the dining hall and go down to the pit. There are all kinds of people celebrating. They don't even have a reason to, but I think they just want to drink.

I feel weird. I am not excactly happy or sad. Right now I feel kind of dull. As if nothing here is real. But it is. It is all real. Every single bit of it. I am dauntless. I am.

We drink and tease each other all night long. By the end of the night my face is red and I have to pee really bad.

'I have to pee,' I say to Ross and Tori.

'No, we are not going back yet. Just pee behind the trash can,' Ross says.

'That is gross!' I say.

'No, they're right. We should head back. We need to get up early to get an apartment -we need a good one- and then we have to sign up for jobs. So come on, lets go,' Tori says. We head back.

-

'Can you believe this is our last night sleeping here?' Ross asks while getting under the covers. We all stay silent.