Skyrim One-Shots

Mercer Frey x Reader ~An Impossible Man~

"Bryn, you sly twat, give me back my ale!" you yelled, a wide grin on your face as you tried to tackle the redheaded thief in vain attempts to get your drink back as friends sat around with cackles and barreling laughter echoing out of their mouths.

"Never!" he barked back with lips perked into a smile, raising his hand high enough so you couldn't reach your drink rather gleefully. A huff left your mouth, but you continued to try to hassle him around to get your ale, pushing and prodding and nearly jumping on his to retrieve it.

The cackle of Delvin echoed in your ears, meanwhile, Vex was shaking her head trying to keep her expression deadpan while she took a swig of her drink.

"Oh, you complete, drunken idiots," was Tonilia's snort behind you both. You let out a screech.

"Gimme it, you rotten shite!"

"Oh, you'll have to ask nicer than that, ____," the thief purred.

"I'll ask really nice alright; I'll be kickin' your balls so hard you won't be able to stand!"

"Brynjolf, watch it!" Delvin called as a pointer, alerting the ginger to able to dodge a swift kick that would've landed on his ankle, but merely swung at the ground.

A growl let loose from your mouth, "Old bastard- you're helping him?!"

"Betrayal!" Run gasped dramatically, walking by. "The sin!"

"No honor among thieves!" Vekel yelled from the bar.

"Apparently not!" you shouted, still trying to rip Brynjolf's arm out of its socket and get your drink back.

He wheezed, barely keeping his balance, "Gods, you're feral with drinks in you, ____!"

"Got some bite there," Vex muttered.

"Gimmie," you whined after another few moments of struggle, "I paid for it!"

"Oh, and now we ask nicely," he teased. "Coulda done it nicer."

"Just- I want my damn drink! Give me it!"

"Hmm, now, that seems the opposite of nice, ____."

A slap on his shoulder leathers. "Bitch, I raised your ass from the ground!"

His eyes glimmered with playfulness, "And I recruited you in the first place."

"I put all the work in!"

"I trained you."

You gave a rough tug to his arm, and finally, finally, his grasp lost hold.

The bottle smashed to the ground.

Delvin slammed his hand on the table, breath in loud, wheezing gasps.

You stared at the glass shards.

"See, that's-"

"You owe me a drink, kill-joy," was your mutter.

"I do not! That was your own fault!"

"No, you took it in the first place!"

Brynjolf huffed, restraining you in a hug abruptly that was tight enough so you could barely breathe and literally lifting you off the ground. A loud shriek echoed as you kicked frantically, throwing slaps where ever your hand met leather.

"This is rape!" you screamed, "Lemme down! I'm afraid of heights!"

"Brynjolf," came Vex's drawl, "stop raping people."

"I'm sharing love, Vex."