Skyrim One-Shots

Mercer x Reader(Female) ~Bee!~

"I dunno, girlie, if you can slap his ass and still have your hand by the dawn, I'd be willing to give you that pretty bee for free," the bald man offered, grinning and teasing and not entirely serious. Vex rolled her eyes, flicking a strand of white hair behind her shoulder as she shook her head. Brynjolf leaned back in his chair, watching the newer thief's reaction before snorting and looking away, lips peaked in amusement and eyebrows raised.

She was a troublemaker. She sought thrill and danger and had no shame of what she did. She was odd in her utter confidence, and she was the embodiment of bold. Brynjolf had recruited her, sure, but she didn't need to be under his wing like most. She was a daring woman that had no limit and could do things that no one else could. 

Seriously, her flexibility was inhuman.

____ hummed. "I know exactly where to put that thing, Delvin. You're dangling meat in front of a starved saber," she grinned.

The older man flicked an eyebrow down and the other up, giving her a quizzical expression. "I was jokin', lassie."

"And I wasn't," she smiled sweetly, so innocent for someone so dangerous. "Be ready to hand me that statue, Del, otherwise I very well may not have a hand. This is going to be fun," she grinned again, though wider than before as she scooted her chair back and pushed it back in closer to the table, turning and starting to walk away. 

Vex covered her face with her hands as Delvin stood from his chair and jogged to Vekel, the bartender, no doubt getting the statue from the storage. "____, you do the stupidest things, but you get away with them somehow," she grumbled.

The woman glanced back and flicked her thumb up, and then, she disappeared into the Cistern.

There were three people in the Cistern that you could see.

Niruin and Cynric, talking a bit while they made some food, and then, the target. Guildmaster Frey. He was looking at a map on his desk, standing up, and comparing some notes or something. So engrossed in his work like normal, he wouldn't look around, favoring his ears to hear anyone approaching. She'd use that to her advantage, and she had an invisibility potion at the ready.

Plan: sneak up behind the target, slap the target's ass with all you've got, and simultaneously drink the potion, then run for it.

Sounds good to you. 

And so, with a soft finger to your lips directed to the two men who snorted and tried not to laugh, you carefully padded along the stone. When you reached the bridge over the small pool, you took your steps even slower, crouching even lower so the wood got used to your weight. Normally, this thing was louder than Sapphire and Viper going at it in the training room, but with enough attention and enough caution, it could be silently walked upon.

Brynjolf couldn't do it- he had tried and he had too much weight from muscles, which you thought was rather funny. He was good at climbing walls, long jumps, and clinging to cracks in walls, but no way he could walk on this bridge silently, as slow or as fast as he went. He could jump over it without a sound, and that was it.

You made it past the Oblivion bridge, thankfully.

And now, you just had to be extra, extra slow and quiet. The uncorking of the potion was so slow that it was indeed noiseless, and you breathed easy. You got behind him, stood as slowly as possible, raised the potion to your lips and whipped your head down.

The sound echoed in the room, brash and overpowering and the two guild members were deathly silent, faces morphed into the perfect 'oh shit' that made the dagger flying just a hair's width from your head worth it. You sprinted for the Flagon, screaming and the door slammed against the door behind you, all hopes of getting out unseen abandoned as the Breton did this scary as shit walk across the cistern that reeked of absolute fury.

You ran to Delvin, mimicking a sob as you grabbed the bee, still invisible, so it was just floating mid-air as you ran to the Ratways. The bald man was wheezing in laughter, meanwhile, Vex looked absolutely tickled pink, and Brynjolf was trying to keep a straight face because he knew the way Mercer would react.

And, the said man walked out of the Cistern, face carefully blank, and then he whipped a dagger to the opening door and another loud shriek came from you as you scrambled by, the potion started to wear off as it wasn't very potent.

The chase lasted all the way to your new home, Honeyside, and Mercer threw himself against the door that you were trying to desperately to keep shut and you stumbled onto your ass while he stepped in, slamming it shut while you gathered your bearings and stood, placing the bee figure onto the table beside you with a nervous smile and backing up in response to his strides  closer to you.

His eyes were the gateway to the void of his endless wrath at what you did, and they made your stomach drop to your feet in dread. Oh, this was one of your worst ideas to date. His face hovered above yours (he was tall for a Breton man, and had a finger's width of height on Brynjolf, though Brynjolf was admittedly really short for a Nord), close enough to be uncomfortable and terrifying but not so much so that it was awkward. No, you didn't even think about that part- Mercer was busy scaring you to pieces, and he was doing it well.

"I needed the bee," you choked out, pointing to the mantel above the hearth as you backed up, your lower back hitting the island counter you had paid for, "it goes with the other things, and as a homeowner, I've got to make my house look good. Y'know, with people dropping in all the time I don't want it to look like I'm touched in the head or somethin', yeah?"

You were rambling, and the only answer you got right after was and unimpressed tilt of his head. Your eyes were cast downward, to his shoulders rather than his face.

He took a few moments, letting the silence really get to you before he spoke in a low growl. "If you hadn't been cashing in for the guild these last few months, ____, you'd be dead right now. You know that though, don't you?"

There was a scramble to answer for you. "Yeah- yeah, uh, yes sir. I don't- fuck me, man- I'm an idiot and it's a thing. I'm assuming that was like, all my warnings for being kicked in one go, and I guess I got a little head over heels for the thrill of you- it, I meant it, like the whole doing things that I should not be doing. That's like the whole appeal, right? I mean, my mother would be beating the shit out of me if she knew I was in the Thieves Guild and maybe she'll come back to haunt me or something but I don't think she'd care that much, right?"

"Are you going to shut up?"

"It's a distraction so hopefully you just walk away and we pretend this never happened and I'll just become nightmare fuel. It's fine. It's fine. I don't know why I'm so stupid sometimes- ugh. If it means anything you have a nice ass."

There was a wide-eyed, forced smile.

"I will drown you if I see you in the Cistern for the next month," he hissed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

;0

idk what im doing anymore lol

ughhajhag

if you had to choose between a book, would you choose one with ulfric, vilkas, brynjolf, or all three with the main character not being the dragonborn?

i'm thinking. ;)

dani out,

Adieu!