Skyrim One-Shots

Farkas x Reader ~Quiet Summer Nights(2)~

With a satisfied hum, you entered Breezehome, an extravagant neck piece chilling onto your skin underneath your tunic and a pack of scavenged items on your shoulders. You armor glistened in the new firelight, the smell of food hitting your nose as you dropped your bag with a groan.

Farkas glanced up from his soup, grinning. "Welcome back. Lydia went off to drink a few hours ago." He looked to the cooking pot in the middle of the room, "She made food, it should still be warm."

You chuckle, unwrapping yourself from your cloak and hanging it on a hook before kicking off your shoes. Warmth, gods, it is good to be home.

"How was your trip to the cold ass of Skyrim? Get that amulet you needed to be a high-class citizen?" he questioned playfully after swallowing a spoonful of broth and while you got yourself a bowl. You came to sit beside him at the table with a snort. 

"My trip was cold alright, and I got the amulet. Only one of its kind; made of dragonbone and from the Dragon Age. Oh, and a lot of jewels. I'll show it to you in a few- it's more like a neck amulet, really."

Farkas raised his brows. "Like, entire neck?"

"Like, collar bone, shoulders, neck," you laughed before chewing a bit of the meat and veggies in the soup.

"How much would it sell for, if you ever did sell it?" he gaped.

You whistled, swallowing your food. "Not even the Jarl of Solitude could afford it."

He choked on the mead he'd been drinking, "That's insane!"

"And I know exactly what it's for," you grinned.

He groaned, "That look means you're up to something, ____."

An innocent curl of your lips. "Oh, whatever do you mean?"

Farkas shook his head, smiling as his grey eyes drilled into to wall in front of him. 

You took the brief opportunity of pause to choke down nearly all of your meal, making obnoxious slurping sounds to which your companion seemed startled by.

You met eyes with him, cheeks stuffed with food, and barely kept from laughing as he started to wheeze, cackling out a joyous tune from his throat.

"Staph," you muttered weakly, voice muddled by the sheer amount of meat in your mouth.

He let out a scream, slamming his hand on his thigh with barreling laughter as you tried to chew all the food.

"It's nat fanney!" you screeched, "I'mph hangary!"

"You sound like a squirrel!" he called between his breaths as you struggled to swallow the meat.

You let out another yelp, "Staph, you fuffer!"

"What is a fuffer?" he wheezed, "Is that supposed to be fucker?"

"Fuffer!" you repeated, glaring.

"Fuffer! Oh, gods, don't choke," he panted out, a smile on his face from ear to ear as you grumbled. 

"Fucker," you barked out the instant the food went down your throat. "You suck."

"Not as much as you swallow."

An offended gasp, "I am of court blood, you filth!"

"How dare you insult a man of arms!" he snipped in response.

"Imbecile!"

"Says the fuffer."

"That is too far," you clipped dramatically.

"I'll say it again-"

"Silence!"

"Oh, the maiden is offended," he taunted.

"And of good reason!" you exclaimed, gesturing wildly. "No man of arms insults a maiden of such high royalty!"

"Of course, of course, but the said maiden must truly be of both purity and of royalty. That rules you out, ____," he decided proudly.

You scowl.

"Fuck."

"See," he stated cockily, "I should know."

You rose to the challenge, "Do you?"

"Oh, I do."

"Well, go on, if you're so confident."

"When ____ gets drunk, ____ forgets they have a reputation, and they lay with the first person they see."

"Goddamnit, I saw you second, and yet I still took you! Explain that!" you bark.

"I'm the best," he grinned.

You flushed. 

"And you can't deny it," he continued after your stubborn silence.

A roll of your eyes. "Whatever."

The loud slam of the door opening echoed, and a mostly drunk Lydia staggered in with her top missing, a drink in hand, and a shit-faced grin on her face.

"The friends with benefits meet again!" she cried dramatically, throwing her fists in the air before slamming the door shut once more with her outside.

You and Farkas exchanged an equally concerned and startled glance.

A laugh bubbled out of you. "She's back to playing spin, ain't she?"

"Oh gods, I haven't played for ages," Farkas answered.

"Vilkas does real horrifying dares," you noted with a grin. "That's my excuse."

"Damn right he does. Aela gets humiliating, and Lydia creates starts relationships, apparently."

You clapped your hands together, standing. "I'm going out to join."

Farkas groaned, standing as well. "I can't let you kill those wolves, dammit."

A terrifying, devilish smirk came upon your features. "A dragon will always strike fear into the hearts of the lesser."

"You already are drunk, and you haven't had a sip."

You whooped, shrugging your shoes back on and heading out with not a second thought. Farkas followed suit, locking the house behind him.

"Oooh," you glanced up to the stars, "pretty."

"Alright, keep it going, little one."

"I better not get sad this time," you grumbled.

"You'll be done after 2 rounds," Farkas guessed.

"Make it 4!" you cheered, sprinting off.

He shook his head, fighting back a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is pretty cute- the bickering and battering is great.

@Freakzoidq here you are, hun! Hope you enjoy!

Requests?

Part 3?

Next one is a request from @_K_M_M_   :)

I might even do it today 😮

ANnnnnd: the time old ritual,

Dani out,

Adieu!