Fall From Grace

Chapter Thirty Four

Chapter Thirty Four

I wait for him to stop pacing, to stop talking, to acknowledge what I've said. But he doesn't. Heart crushed, I just leave the room. I can find my own way home. Better yet, I'll go to the dorms. Dorms don't close over winter break. There are students here who don't have anywhere to go for the holidays and petitioned they remain open and won.

The room looks empty when I walk in. Vivian's entire side is wiped out, no note this time. With a sigh, I flop on to my bed, trying not to cry.

It's not worth it. He didn't hear me, or he chose not to.

Instead of moping, I lean over and put a record on and decide to pick out outfits to wear for the festival. I need to fit the part if I am going to attend.

It's fine. Everything is totally fine.

Honestly, I don't need anyone but myself.

After finishing with my clothes, I begin organizing and reorganizing my shelves. I am not sure what I was thinking confessing my love for Hades, someone I really barely know. I like to pretend I know the God of the Underworld, and perhaps I know him better than most, but there are just layers and layers of stone stopping me from getting to his true heart. In fact, I don't think I will ever be able to. I know that sounds dramatic, but whatever happened with Persephone must have really messed him up. If not that, something else.

I should have never expected him to answer "I love you."

About an hour in to my manic cleaning, Hades appears. But I don't feel relieved, I feel numb. I expected him to at some point, but damn did it take a while.

"Aza Grace, what the hell?"

It seems to be his new favorite thing to say. Ironic.

"You can't disappear like that."

"I mean I can," I shrug, not caring that he's upset. Maybe if I stop caring about things, I'll stop getting hurt. "Because I just did."

"What's with this attitude?" Hades asks, looking genuinely confused in my behavior. But he shouldn't be. This is me.

He didn't hear me, or he chose not to.

"You never listen do you? Sometimes it feels like I talk at you and not to you simply because you don't consider me on your level."

"I'm not sure what you mean." He reaches for my hand, but I keep it out of reach.

"I told you I loved you Hades. I practically screamed it at you." I tell him. "Did you hear me?"

Hades remains silent, like he does.

"Actually," I change my mind. "Don't answer that."

He just nods, and I continue what I am doing.

"Your room looks different." Hades points out, attempting to make conversation.

"That's because Vivian took all of her stuff."

"Oh."

Yeah it hurts, but I am trying not to think about it. I am going to fix everything anyways. This is all temporary.

"Dear Vivian,

Come home please."

"Aza Grace, please stop and look at me."

I don't want to. If I do he will see the tears I am fighting to keep in. I hate when he sees me cry. No matter how numb I want to be, my own emotions betray me.