My Adorable Bully (Matthew Espinosa)

Epilogue

It's 's been a couple months without Matthew.
I feel empty, although I shouldn't I go to school depressed, I shouldn't. I have this guilt inside of me I always will have. The doctors gave me anti depressants because I was depressed. They told me I had a small case of schizophrenia because I still believe Matthew wake the earth. This isn't true though, I know he does. It's hard to loose someone so quickly without even being able to say goodbye. His legendary story and humanity of the world will live on forever. I just miss him.
Today I walk over to his house, I typed in his password, *62339* and I got to examine his room. I walk a few steps in and smell his cologne he always used to wear, the same scent still lingers on his hoodie I have at home from that night we found out our feelings towards each other. Everything in boxes. I grab the first picture I see on his shelf. "l.o.v.e" it says written on it. It has a shatter through our faces, he must of thrown it. Our smiles were so big. It was only one year with him but it felt like many. I took the picture out of the frame and placed it on my heart, I leaped into his unmade bed and cried. I just let it go. I have to face the fact that my baby is gone, and he will never be back. The therapist tells me it's good to come see his room to prove it's not being used, that's he's gone.
I watched all these videos and looked at all these pictures of the Jacks on my phone. They left it on my phone when I gave it to them at school. The Jacks are so big now. They were in this even called 'magcon' with my brother, I didn't go because of Gilinsky. But nothing's the same without Matt. They're touring and now they're headlining shows.

Four months later I open up YouTube. "subscribe... I guess?" I laugh and jump into Matthews arms, we hold hands and fall backwards into the water.
I watched on a screen.
A video catches my attention and people are asking where he was and if he was okay. I watch it but skipped to the end. "Have you ever felt alone? like a prisoner locked in a place they don't want to be, someone you wish you weren't. Yea that's me. That's my little secret and now you all know. I love you all. I'm so sorry." He cries.
It says the videos are taken from his snapchat four months ago and he has not posted ever since.
Rumors of him being hit by a car and all sorts of things are popping around. I'm the only one who knows the truth. His family hasn't put out any statements into the news.

Eighteen months later it's almost my birthday once more. I pull out my video camera and sit down in my room I pull out the picture of us and hold it to my heart. " A lot of you have been wondering where matthew is. I'm so sorry to say but matthew has passed away for those that do not know. I know it's surprising and out of the ordinary but I'm so sorry, our little baby couldn't take life anymore. If any of you are suffering from depression or self harm or anything, just remember. Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Matthew Lee Espinosa loves you all. This is the last video on this channel. Just remember that adorable guy, yea matt; he's watching over us." I close the video.

My adorable bully, is not watching me cry in his arms he's watching me cry from above.