Poetry

Paths

I miss who I was

But also love who I am

I miss the feeling of freedom and clam

But I also love the chaos and the restrictions begging to be broken

I miss the woods, the forest, the trees, and all nature

But would miss the rooms filled with buzzing computers, the hum of machinery, large blue screens, and bright blinking lights

Part of me wants to flow, the clam, the softer side of life

While the other part screams for rigidness, the excitement, the harsher way of life

One side begs to answer the call of nature

While the other heeds the screams of cities

One side wishes to go back to loose cloths, long hair, a life of rolling around in the soft dirt

While the other plans for tight cloths, short hair, exploring the corners of a large metal maze

One half wishes to stay natural

Brown hair

Brown eyes

Skin unmarked

Body unpierced

Soft green shirts and faded blue jeans

Barefoot feet touching the earth

The other half expects to remake itself

Hair dyed

Eyes turned red in the dark light

Ink marking the skin

Body pierced

Commercial shirts and ripped pants

Opposite colored shoes smacking the pavement

Both life's hold my desires

But only one can win out

I choose the one of pain and heartache

Instead of internal peace

I miss the leisurelies of the forest

But can't block our the screams of cities

And to go back I would have to give up what I hold dear

To let go of the things I fear

I wish to go back

That life was simpler

Days of lying in the shade of great pine trees

But the reward from this life is much greater

The buzz

The thrill

It's a harder path

But I decided to run down it still

I ran down without a second though

And while I still look back

I know the other path will wait for me

Wait till I tire of excitement

The thrill of bright lights and city nights

They say you can only walk one path

But I'd rather walk many

So I take the path of the dare devil

And ask for the path of the spirits to wait for me

Wait for me to come back and explore them when I've ha my fill of excitement

And they will

Their patience keeping them still waiting for the day I come back

And who's to say I will

For now I blaze my own trail

The path between the forest and city

Switching bak and forth

Unable to make up my mind

And that's just fine