May limang minuto ng naghihintay si Katherine sa sasakyan. “Malamang nahirapan na naman itong umalis”, wika niya sa sarili bago nagpakawala ng isang malalim na buntunghininga.
May isang taon na silang ganito. Palihim na nagtatagpo pag may pagkakataon. At kahit magkasama sila sa iisang opisina, hindi pa din nila magawang ilantad ang kanilang relasyon.
At kahit may mga kumakalat na ispekulayon sa tunay nilang ugnayan, madaling napapabulaanan iyon ni Ethan.
Si Ethan.
They have been in the same company for five years, pero dalawang taon pa lang nung nagsimula silang magkasama sa isang department.
She never liked his guts. Masyadong itong self-assured to the point na mayabang ang dating, flirt at madalas non-sense kausap. She never liked people who waste her time, and yet, she has been in this relationship for 12 whole months.
And in spite of it all, it seems na wala siyang balak umalis sa relasyong ito.
Hindi niya maisip kung kailan nya na-realize na mahal na niya si Ethan. Madalas itong nagpaparamdam sa kanya pero hindi nya pinapansin.
And then one day, she woke up ang realized that she is in love with him. She never told him, though. She accepted his friendship and eventually, naging sila.
Alam ni Katherine na casual affair lang ang habol nito sa kanya but she is willing to take whatever he could offer. Ang mahalaga sa kanya is that they are together.
Napangiti sya ng makitang papalapit na sa kanya si Ethan. She could see his boyish smile that made her heart lurch to her ribs. He always manages to make her feel this way.
Parang isang teenager that na in love sa unang pagkakataon.
“Hi…” marahan niyang wika, at tila ba nagdadalawang isip kung hahalikan niya ito.
Lumapit sa kanya si Ethan at dumampi ang mga labi nito sa kanya. It was a quick kiss but she felt it in her entire being.
“Let’s go?” tanong niya. “Maybe we can take my car,” patuloy pa nito bago pa man makasagot si Ethan.
“You have to go ahead. Hindi ako makaalis.” Sagot nito sa kanya.
“May problema ba?” tanong nya. Pinilit ni Katherine na wag ipakita ang sakit na bigla niyang naramdaman.
Never siyang nag impose sa lalaki. Lagi niyang pinapakita kay Ethan na kaya niya ang lahat at okay lang sa kanya ang mga last minute changes. Pero ang totoo, she would be spending the rest of the night crying from heartbreak. At kinabukasan ay magpapanggap na naman na parang walang nangyari.
This has always been the cycle.
“May biglang pinapatapos si boss.” Maikling sagot nito. Gustong sumigaw ni Katherine. Iniwan niya ang sang tambak na trabaho dahil kanina pa nagmamadaling umalis si Ethan tapos trabaho ang idadahilan nito sa kanya.
Ang daming dahilan ang pumasok sa isip ng dalaga. And she was so sure na makikipagkita lang ito sa ibang babae. But she wouldn’t dare to ask.
“Okay. Anyway, may tatapusin din akong work sa bahay.” She tried to sound as unaffected as possible, but if Ethan was paying close attention, he would have heard the flinch in her voice.
“Come here,” utos nito sa kanya.
Katherine obliged. Alam niyang bobolahin na naman siya but she was helpless against his charms.
She fell into his arms, while he held her tight. “Wag ka ng magtampo. I’ll try to get there tonight as soon as I can and we could stay in bed buong araw bukas. And I’ll even cook for you” Pangako nito.
It might have been an empty promise, but Katherine wanted it to be true. She lifted her head and gazed into his eyes.
Minsan nararamdaman naman niyang mahal siya nito, as intensely as she loves him. And yet, he could not give himself to her, as a whole. There would always be a part of him na para sa iba.
“Promise?” tanong nito na tila ba isang bata.
Napangiti lamang si Ethan sa kanya at hinalikan sya. This time the kiss lasted for what seems like eternity. At matapos ang halik na iyon ay isinakay siya ni Ethan sa kotse at binilinang mag ingat.
She started crying as soon as Ethan left. She felt so vulnerable and all alone. Most of all, she felt so stupid.
Ni hindi na alam ni Katherine kung paano siyang nakarating sa kanyang condo. Nag iiyak na naman siya buong biyahe. Isang araw ay hindi na siya magtataka kung maaaksidente na lamang siya kung magpapatuloy silang ganito.
She stipped her clothes and went to the shower. Nais niyang lunurin ang sarili sa ilalim ng malamig na lagaslas ng tubig.
She wanted to forget, and yet she always remembers.
BINABASA MO ANG
Rude Awakening
ChickLitKatherine is having an affair with Ethan nang muli silang magkita ni Hans, ang ex-BF, now boss turned lover nya... (EXCERPT) He's too damned close. Dapat sana ay umiiwas ako pero hinayaan ko syang makalapit at hawiin ang buhok ko. Nang inilapit nya...
