Warmth of Home | Home Series #1

Chapter 23

Warning: SPG! SPG! SPG!!!!

Chapter 23

Sa lahat nang pagkakataon ay palaging palaisipan saakin ang kahulugan ng pag-ibig, ang pagmamahal. Family love? Friendship love? Iba't iba man ang tawag ngunit pare-pareho pa din iyong nangangahulugan ng pagmamahal. 

Pero isa lang ang hindi ko pa lubusang nakukuha ang sagot, iyon ay pagmamahal sa nakatadhanang mamamahalin ko nang panghabang buhay. All my life I was wondering of how does love works. Is it the time that you feel the fast beating of your heart if he or she is around? The feeling of butterflies on your stomach? Or is it the spark that you feel when you two touched? Is that it?

Well, I don't know if that's the answer but one thing is for sure, I am inlove with this man that staring through my eyes like he's reading what's inside of my mind.

"Apollo..."

Ipinaramdam niya saakin ang tunay na pagmamahal. I lost hope but he didn't gave up that's why he is now my own version of hope because he was the one who is there when I pushed people away. 

He makes me laugh, sometimes sad but he always makes me smile. He is my first love and I want him to be my last.

"Hmm?"

We keep on swaying our lower body as we both stared at the shining moon outside the building. Kanina pa natigil ang musika at may pumalit nang bago pero heto pa rin kami, nakayakap sa isa't-isa na para bang wala nang bukas.

Ang totoo ay ayaw kong matigil ang gabing ito dahil pakiramdam ko, kapag sumikat na muli ang araw ay babalik siya sa malamig niyang pakikitungo saakin. Ayaw ko nang ganoon, hindi ko alam ang mararamdaman ko kapag ganu'n nga ang ituring niya saakin.

I am afraid and there's a pain inside my heart that I don't know what the reason is.

"Make love with me..."

I said that with a little bit of courage. Kung ganu'n  man nga ang mangyari, edi lubusin ko na. After all, I am ready. 

I felt him stilled and we both stop swaying. I looked at him and there, I saw how shocked he is.

Kung siguro hindi pa kami nagkausap nang ganito ay namumula na ako ngayon pero nakapag-isip na ako. At isa pa, dalawang beses na namin iyon muntik nang magawa, bakit hindi ngayon? I love him and I am ready to give myself to him. Hindi man niya hiningi pero kusa ko itong ibibigay, sigurado na ako.

I know it is not about that thing but I just want to do it with him, hindi dahil pareho kaming nasaktan ngayon kung 'di dahil sa iyon ang sinasabi ng aking puso.

I know it's wrong but I already decided and nothing can change my mind.

"What...?"

He parted his lips out of shock and then looked at me like I have a two head.

I sighed.

"Make love with me."

He gulped.

"But baby, it is too early to do that."

"Early or not, I want to do it with you."

"You are just tired and sleepy." He pulled out of our hug and then hold my hand. "Come on... Let's get you home."

He was about to pull me but I stop and I pulled him instead. He looked at me through his shoulder.

May pagtangging makikita saaking mukha. Ngayon na nakapagdesisyon na ako, wala nang makakahadlang pa, kahit na siya pa. I tried to pulled him with my both hand. At first, hindi siya nahihila pero nang mapagmasdan niya ang determinadong mukha ko ay parang nanghina siya at sumunod na lang saakin patungo sa kwarto niya.