rowan | g.d

"You try eating ass for a week"

13

I lay in the hospital bed staring out the window, board as ever.

It was now a full week of me being in this hospital but awake this time so I have physically been in the hospital for four weeks but mentally here for a week.

Grayson returned back to school but coming to the hospital everyday after school to keep me company. After the whole incident I can't help but feel my feeling for Grayson become really strong. I'm scared, really scared I've never dated anyone and after all that has happen with my uncle, I tend to have a hatred toward men.

But I know for a fact grays different, he's not like other boys.

I was ripped out of my thought with my door to my room in the hospital busting open. In walking Grayson and Caron's holding bags of Chick-fil-A. I quickly sit up making grabby hands towards the food.

The two boys to laugh "I got your favorite." Gray winks tossing me my food. I was quick to dive in my food because hospital food is cardboard in bread. I hear silence, I raise my head to see what was wrong.

I look up and see cars and gray looking at me with jaws dropped. "What? I asked confused.

"Jesus fuck Rowan slow down your food isn't going to grow a pair and walk away." Carson faces scrunches in disgust.

I narrow my eyes at Carson "you try eating ass for a week." Carson laughs, Grayson's face turned red from the sexual comment I made.

"oh my god gray, your going to have get used to my truck driver mouth sooner or later." I playfully roll eyes while shoving my fries in my face hole.

"I know but every time I think I'm getting used to your words you pull some shit like that." He waves his hands around being overdramatic in my opinion.

"Bro, you think she's bad around you, try growing up with her she's more dirty minded than me and I fuck bitches alllll the time." Carson said dragging out the L in all.

I nod my head understanding what he was saying, Grayson laughs shaking his head. "So gray man, you getting any pussy lately." Carson bumped his shoulder against grays smirking.

Grayson's head snapped to me with wide eyes. I knew he was embarrassed, he was still a virgin but I nodded my head telling him to tell the truth.

"N-no I h-haven't." Grayson squeaked out, cheeks turning red from embarrassment. I think Carson caught on to what was going on because he decided to speak up a few moments later. "damn dude you haven't lost your v card yet." He patted Grayson back nodding.

Gray shyly shook his head looking down. "Respect bro." Carson praises. Grayson knits hit eyebrows up.

Carson look over at Grayson "Dude I wish I was still a virgin, I hate what I do but I do it when I'm in the moment then regret it after instantly, so I respect you man." Carson says dabbing up Grayson. Me and Grayson both looked at each other wide eyes and all before bursting out laughing.

Carson started laughing as well making the whole situation funny for know reason.

"Cars you only say that because mom keeps beating your ass." I throw a fry at him, he flinches before picking it up the floor eating it. "hey! That is so true." I laugh shaking my head.

Carson you dumb fuck.

—

It was now night and Carson went home. Grayson went home to shower and change but he said he's coming back to spend the night and keep me company.

Right now I was staring out the window. Just thinking, how I was raped, how Grayson got involved. I know there coming for me, it doesn't matter that my father is in prison he has people on the outside.

His men are coming for me and there going to try and kill me or possibly Grayson. I don't want Grayson to know because I know he will be scared again. I like Grayson a lot and as  cheesy as it sounds and all, I have the biggest crush on this kid. It scares me, a lot.

I want to be sweet and loving to him but I have to push him away. I have to if it's for his own safety then I'll do it. Even if I destroy my heart in the process, I'll do it.

I feel warm water come out from my eyes. I freeze, the warm water continues to stream down my cheeks. My shaky hands come up to my cheeks and I start to feel my face. I touch my cheeks and realize it's fucking tears. I'm crying over a fucking boy. I roughly wipe my cheeks and eyes but while doing so the door opens up and Grayson walks in with a smile on his face but it drops when he see me crying.

"Row are you okay what happen!" He rushes over to the side of the bed.

I take my hands and cover my face not wanting him to see me crying. He goes to reach for my hands but I harshly pull way.

"Row it's just me." He says softly going to reach for my hands again.

"No!" I harshly spit. I can't see his face but I have I feeling he was hurt by my words.

"Rowan come on it's just me I don't care if you cry." He says softly. But I have to stick to plan, it's for his own safety.

"No, get out Grayson, I don't want to see you or talk to you so get out!" I raise my voice. I start feeling tears fall from eyes to my palms. I hate doing this but if it means he will be okay than this is what I have to do.

"What Rowan? Why, did I do anything to upset you." He says and I can hear how his voice cracks like he's on the verge of tears. Breaking me even more.

"Just get out Grayson before I call security on you." I say but it's kinda muffled because my hands are still on my face to avoid him from seeing me cry.

"Row ple-" I cut him off by screaming "get out." I feel him slightly flinch from me screaming but he gets up and walks off. Before he closes the door I hear him sniffle meaning he's either crying or on the verge of crying.

he walks out fully closing the door behind him. I remove my hands and start to quietly sob.

I haven't cried in 3 years, not a single tear. Now I'm balling my eyes out because of Grayson. Not because of anything he did but what I have to do.

I know I hurt him but I'd rather me hurt him slightly then some grown ass men coming and torturing him hurting him mentally and physically. Now all I'm waiting for, is for them to come for me.

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