rowan | g.d

"Im not Ethan, I respect my parents ears."

29

"Are you sure your okay going back in there?" Joseph asks putting his hand on my shoulder, I nod gulping.

I've just got back in Jersey and I immediately drove to Grayson's. It's about five o'clock here and I'm scared to go in, but I know I have some explaining to do about dropping the L word on him and fleeing the state.

"Yeah I've got some explaining to do, go home Joey your tired." I smile softly at him taking him by surprise pulling him into a hug. He's hesitant at first but slowly wraps his arms around me—hugging me back.

"Okay rowan, call me if you need me." He says pulling away.

He sends me a reassuring smile before climbing Into the van driving off. I take a deep breath fixing my hair and straighten out my shirt. This is ridiculous, I should go home. I mean honestly he probably hates me and never wants to see me again. There's absolutely no point in me being here, right. No, I need to be here, right, fuck.

Grow some balls Rowan.

I close my eyes releasing my tense shoulders before padding my way up to his front door.

here goes nothing.

I bring my fist up to the door knocking, I step back a little fiddling with my fingers. I have anxiety, really bad anxiety my hands are shaking and I feel my chest tighten.

"Rowan..." Fuck, I didn't even realize the door has been open by...Grayson.

"Hello" I squeeze out. "C-can I Come I-in" I stutter.

He blinks, he looks like shit. His eyes are red and swollen and his foot is wrapped up. He appears to be on some crutches witch make my heart clench in pain. I did that to him, I've caused him pain, it's my fault, all my fault.

"Are you coming in." I blink shaking my head. Grayson stands away from the door—the once ajar door is widen now.

Clearing my throat I bow my head taking small steps into his house. I don't turn around I just look down bringing my tongue to the roof of my mouth. It's kind of silly but I once read a article on how to stop yourself from crying. Apparently they say to press your tongue to the roof of your mouth and it stops you from crying.

"Rowan, hello." I look up seeing Grayson confused as ever. I did it again I zoned out again.

"Hi." I whisper sheepishly, how dose he seem so calm, I'm shitting bricks and he's standing in all his sexy glory. His intense stare isn't helping either.

I look down seeing his foot, "how are you feeling?" I ask dumbly.

"Uh-um good." He nervously laughs glancing down to his foot and back up at me.

"Yeah..." I trail off looking anywhere but him. I need to man up this isn't the Rowan I know. I'm confident, we'll sometimes, but usually around Grayson, I've never been so nervous and scared around him. Not scared of him but scared of what he'll say.

"Ive been calling you." His tone is soft.

I nod pursing my lips. "I know I shut my phone off."