Being Alone (D. Winchester)

2.75 "You Don't Have A Soul, Mr. Crowley "

People started to raise their hands.

Beau "Ah. This lady. I have three. Do I have, uh, four? Ah. Four, gentlemen here. Four. Going for five. Five? Five to this lady. Do we have an advance on five tons?"

Sam" Plan "C"? "

Dean nodded " Big time. "

Beau looked around "Any other bids? Any other bids? "

Dean stood up " I'm gonna use the restroom. "

Then he left.

Beau "Sold.  Our next item up for bid, the hammer of Thor, Mjoelnir."

An old man stood up "A finger bone from the frost giant Ymir. "

Beau looked at Plutus, who shook his head.

Old man held up a blood soaked paper bag "Uh... the bone and, uh......5/8 of a virgin. "

My jaw dropped.

Dean walked back to us and sat down.

Plutus nodded.

Beau "Ah. Sold. "

Dean" Plan "C" tanked. "

I sighed.

Crowley suddenly said "Maybe you should try plan "D" for dumbass. "

Beau "Our next lot, the Word of God... "

He held it up "...capital "G" – very old, very rare. "

Crowley stood up "Three billion dollars. "

I looked at him.

Samandriel stood up "The "Mona Lisa."

Crowley "" The real "Mona Lisa," where she's topless."

I raised an eyebrow amused. 

Samandriel "Vatican City."

Crowley "Alaska. "

Beau "Palin and a bridge to nowhere? No, thanks. "

Crowley nodded "All right. The moon. "

Dean asked irritated "You're bidding the moon? "

Crowley nodded  "Yeah. Claimed it for Hell. Think a man named Buzz gets to go into space without making a deal? "

I nodded.

Beau "Ah. I'm sorry, gentlemen. It seems that our reserve price has not been met. So in order to stimulate the bidding, we're going to add an item to this lot... "

He pointed at Kevin "..Kevin Tran, Prophet of the Lord."

Mrs Tran gasped as Kevin disappeared.

She  stood up and cried out  "No! "

Kevin reappeared, chained near Plutus.

Sam, Dean and i stood up, but an auction employee behind us forced us back into our seats with a hand on our shoulders.

Beau "Mr. Tran is the only person on Earth who can read this tablet, which makes them a perfect matching set. "

Crowley "So out of your league. "

Beau "So, do I hear a bid of, um – "

Ms Tran "No, stop! I'll give you whatever you want. I have a 401K, my house"

Plutus chuckled.

Beau "Good effort, Ms. Tran, but I'm afraid this is a little out of your price range. "