Being Alone (D. Winchester)

2.71 "Was There A Girl?"

At a motel.

I walked into the room and put my bag on the bed and walked over to the mirror.

Flashback:

I have been trying to summon Crowley for the pas month. There was no clue about Dean's whereabouts and Crowley was being an asshole!

I yelled "Come one, Crowley, i know exactly that you can hear me! Grow some balls and show up! Crowley, please!"

Suddenly the front door opened and Sam walked inside.

I turned to him.

Sam "and?"

I shook my head, frustrated "Nothing"

Sam took a deep breath "you should take a break-"

I scoffed "what? no"

Sam walked over to me and put his hands on my shoulder "Elena, you've been trying for the past month. If Crowley had any interest in talking to you, don't you think he would've already shown up?"

I looked at him for a second and then pushed him off of me "No"

Sam sighed "Leny-"

I shook my head "don't call me that, please, don't - don't call me that"

He looked down "i lost him too"

I held my sobs back "i-i feel- i feel like i can't breath without him, Sam, i feel like i'm suffocating"

Sam looked at me with a pained expression "Elena, he wouldn't have wanted this-"

Me "he would've wanted to stay alive. And maybe he's still alive"

Sam shook his head "we don't know that for sure"

I nodded "i know that he's still breathing"

Sam asked confused "how do you know?"

Me "Because i can feel it."

Flashback end.

I jumped when i felt two hands on my arms "you okay?"

Sam was in the reflection of the mirror.

I turned to him and moved out of the way "I'm fine"

Sam sighed "Elena-"

Suddenly Dean walked inside and threw his bag on the bed i had claimed earlier "Hello there, friends"

Sam cleared his throat and walked into the bathroom.

Dean looked at him confused but i walked over to him and hugged him.

I muttered "i missed you so much"

Dean chuckled and hugged me back "i missed you too, baby"

---

Dean and i were sitting on the ground, leaning against the end of the bed.

Sam walked back into the room and eyed Dean who was looking rather nervous " You okay? "

Dean nodded "Yeah. Yeah, hey, what do you say we blow this joint, hit the road?"

I looked at him surprised.

Sam asked surprised "Now? "

Dean nodded  " Yeah, Kevin's not getting any more found."

I looked at him "I told you Kevin was okay. I just saw him last weekend"

Dean looked at his hands.

I asked worried" when's the last time you slept? "

Dean shrugged "Hmm"

Sam "What?"

Dean shook his head  " Nothing. Is that, uh, that how you rationalized taking a year off? People will be okay? "

Sam" People were okay, Dean. You're okay. "

Dean scoffed "Wow. "

Sam" Look, I did what we promised we'd do. I moved on. I lived my life. "

Dean nodded " Yeah, no, I'm getting that. "

Sam "Look, it wasn't like I was... just oblivious. I mean, I read the paper every day. I saw the weird stories......the kind of stuff we used to chase. "

Dean "And you said what? "Not my problem"? "

Sam nodded " Yes. And you know what? The world went on. "

Dean " People died, Sam. "

Sam" People will always die, Dean. Or maybe another hunter took care of it. I don't know, but the point is, for the first time, I realized that it wasn't only up to me to stop it. "

Dean scoffed, amused "Hmm. So what was it, hmm? What could possibly make you stop just like that? A girl? Was there a girl?"

I looked at Sam. Sam looked at me for a second and then looked back to Dean.

He shook his head "The girl had nothing to do with it."

Dean nodded,  sighing "There was a girl. "

Sam nodded " Yeah. There was. And then there wasn't. Any more questions? "

I looked down.

Sam sighed and sat down on the other bed "Listen, I know this is gonna sound crazy to you. I don't even necessarily need you to understand. But...you need to know. I didn't just drop out, Dean. I found something. Something I've... never had all my life. "

Dean "Yeah, what was her name? "

Sam " Amelia. "

Dean "So, what, you, uh, you dropped your peanut butter in her chocolate? How'd it happen?"

Sam "I hit a dog. "

Then he shook his head " All right, what about you? "

Dean asked confused "What about me? "

Sam "Look at you. You've still got that look. You're shaky. You're on edge. What was it like? "

Dean shook his head " You wouldn't believe me if I told you. "

Me "Try me"

Dean looked at me for a second "It was bloody. Messy. 31 flavors of bottom-dwelling nasties. Hell, most days felt like 360-degree combat. But there was something about being there. It felt pure..."

He didn't finish. I could hear his voice breaking.

I put my hands over his.