I Love You, My Friend - Song Mingi

#5

I was just about to go to sleep, or try to sleep, but then I got a text message. It was probably Kyung. He always texted me when we were home, asking me to bring stuff to his room. He's so lazy. No wonder he doesn't have a girlfriend.
I wasn't going to help him today. He threw his jacket in my face in front of a whole Idol group.
But now I was wide awake again, so I decided to look at some pictures of cats. I picked up my phone from my nightstand, and realized it wasn't Kyung that had texted me. It was an unknown number. That's kind of creepy...
But maybe it was my father. He might have gotten a new number so that he could reach me. I had blocked his number weeks ago. I didn't want to talk to him. Not before he agreed to let me see my mother.

I decided that I might as well see what he had to say. But it wasn't my father.

???: Hi! It's Mingi :)

For some reason, when I read the message, my heart skipped a beat. Like literally. I had never felt something like that before. Maybe I was getting sick? I felt my forehead. It was cold. Does that mean I'm sick? No, it's just because my room is cold. I preferred it that way. For some reason it made it easier to sleep.

should I text Mingi back?

I really want to. It would be nice to talk to someone right now. Because I'm wide awake...and lonely.
When I started typing my reply, my heart did that thing again. Why do I feel nervous?
I have to write something that doesn't sound weird. His message was very informal, so I should probably not be formal. Maybe it would upset him. Maybe.. he already considered me a friend. But I wasn't ready to tell Kyung about it.Because I wanted to make all of them my friends first.

Sungyeon: hello Mingi! How did you get my number?
Sungyeon: not that I mind it.
Sungyeon: I'm really bored!
Sungyeon: not that I'm only texting you back because I'm bored!

Way to go Sungyeon.
He'll probably think I'm even weirder now that I sent so many messages.
I put my phone down, and sighed. He probably won't even answer me now. I wouldn't really blame him either. I should just turn off my phone and force myself to sleep.
When I picked up my phone again, I got a text message, actually several, making me drop my phone. I got startled, which made me laugh for some reason.

I quickly picked my phone up from the floor.

Mingi: that's good :) not that you're bored, but the other thing.
Mingi: i hope it's ok that I saved your number.
Mingi: I know you only gave it to Hongjoong.
Mingi: i just.. couldn't help it.

He couldn't help it? So he really wanted to be my friend.
I'm so.. confused. I've always thought that nobody wanted to be my friend. Even when I was younger. That's why my brother was my best friend. But back then, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I read Mingi's messages again, and laughed. He was just as awkward as I was. And I couldn't help but think.. that I wanted him to be my friend, permanently. Not because of my deal with Kyung. But this feeling would probably go away. I was just thinking like that because I felt lonely right now.

Sungyeon: I'm happy you saved my number :)
Mingi: really? That's great!
Mingi: I was worried you would think I'm weird.
Sungyeon: I'm pretty weird too.
Mingi: yeah I've sort of noticed.

I just had to laugh at the last message. I thought I would be embarrassed that he found me weird. But it felt nice. Because being weird was something that my brother loved about me. And he made me feel happy, like my brother always would.

Mingi: i can't wait to see you tomorrow!
Mingi: I mean..we're all excited.
Mingi: it's not just me!

They can't wait to see me?
Was this real? Because..I wanted it to be.
Sungyeon! Stop this. Stop this now. You're not supposed to actually be their friend.

I'm supposed to fake it...

I decided to stop overthinking everything. Maybe I should take a sleeping pill and hope I won't think about this again in the morning.
Yes.. Tomorrow I would stop having these
feelings. I would only focus on my goal. I just needed them to tell Kyung that I was their friend, when the time comes.
And then.. I would be alone again.
Because that's what I really wanted... wasn't it?
I turned off my phone, and put it on my nightstand.

Mingi: can I call you? 

•Mingi's POV•

After I asked her if I could call her, she stopped replying. Maybe she fell asleep. Or maybe it was because she didn't want me to call her.
Why was the thought bothering me so much? I barely know her.
- can you just sleep?
Jongho said.
- you're not sleeping either.
I told him.
- that's because you keep laughing.
He said.
- I'm sorry.
I said.
- also, I can hear you texting someone.
He said.
- you can?
I asked.
- you do realize you have the sound on right?
He answered.
I hadn't realized it at all.
- of course I knew that. I'm not stupid.
I said.