I Love You, My Friend - Song Mingi

#10

The time we spent on that rooftop, felt like hours. But it was also like time was moving to fast. I hadn't been able to enjoy something like this in a while. Just sitting outside.... with someone I actually wanted to spend time with. The sun always used to bother me, but today it was giving me life. Or maybe it was Mingi's hand. The hand that had been on top of mine all this time. I hadn't been able to make myself pull it away.

We hadn't really talked much, all this time. We just sat there in silence, enjoying the visuals of this place. I had to come back here some day. The flower garden was inside a greenhouse. And I wanted to explore it, because seeing this place, made me remember how beautiful flowers could be.
- I have to go now.
Mingi said.
- ok.
I said, and almost sighed.
But why should I even be upset about that? All I wanted was to be alone. But I was starting to doubt it. And that's why I didn't think we should spend time alone like this again.
- I wish I could lie, and say that I had all the time in the world for you.
He said, making me cough uncontrollably.
That sentence was something straight out of a romance novel.
- Are you ok?
Mingi asked me, and started patting my back like I was choking on something.
- Maybe I swallowed a fly.
I answered, making him laugh.

He got up from the bench, and held out his hand, probably to help me get up.
I didn't take his hand, I got up on my own.
- you should be careful from now on.
He said.
- what do you mean?
I asked him.
- you keep hurting yourself.
He said.
- It's not like it was my intention.
I said.
- then what where you doing? Why did you fall out of a window?
He said, and it almost sounded like he was mad at me.
- I just wanted to go outside for a while.
I said.
- why didn't you just use the door?
He asked me.
I didn't want to tell him why I had to sneak out. What would he think about me, when he found out that my cousin didn't trust me enough to let me go outside alone?
- Let's go. You have to get back to practice, don't you?
I said, and started walking towards the door we had come from.
- Why do you always avoid questions?
Mingi asked, when he caught up to me.
- That's none of your business.
I said.
I suddenly realized I was starting to show my real personality.
If I don't get myself together right now, he will hate me. Hate who I really am.
- You just avoided my question, again.
He said.
- I'm sorry. I'm just a bit tired.
I said, and tried to smile.
- I guess you couldn't sleep well last night..
Mingi said, and frowned.
- it's always like that.
I explained.

We went back down to their practice room, and I was about to leave him there, but he grabbed my hand.
- I didn't mean to be rude.
He said.
- it's ok.
I said.
- but when you're ready to tell me more about yourself, I'll be waiting.
He said, making me heart skip a beat.
I can't let him know the real me. Ever. He would leave, and then the rest of them would leave.
But.. that's what I want, isn't it? Just not yet.
- I'll go now.
I said, and smiled.
I walked away, and suddenly wanted to turn around. But I wouldn't.
I wanted to go somewhere I could be sad, and angry. I found a restroom, and checked all the stalls to make sure no one was here. One of the stalls was closed, but it didn't look like someone was in there.
I looked at myself in the mirror, and started cursing out loud.
I'm so useless. I don't think I can do this anymore. I can't pretend to be someone I'm not. Should I just give up?
But if I give up, I won't be able to see Mingi again. And for some reason the thought made me more upset than I thought that I would be.
I'll just have to endure this a little longer.
- Sungyeon-ah.. you can do this. You have to.
I said to my own reflection in the mirror.

I was about to leave the bathroom, when I heard someone crying. It was coming from inside the bathroom stall, that was closed. But I had made sure that no one was there?
I know I should have just walked away, but I got too curious. I walked over to the bathroom stall, and nocked on the door.
- Hello?
I said.
Yeah, there was definitely someone in there, crying.
- I can hear you.
I said.
- No you can't.
The person inside said.
- well, I can definitely hear you now.
I said.

Two minutes later, the stall door opened.
- Are you here to make fun of me too?
The woman said.
She was pretty, but the way she dressed was dull and she wore glasses. But somehow it fitted her.
- Why would I make fun of you?
I asked her.
- I don't know. I don't even know why the others make fun of me.
She said.
Others? Who was she talking about?
- I don't even know you.
I said.

I left the bathroom, and couldn't stop thinking about that woman. Was she being bullied? Is this a high school? She's a grown woman, shouldn't she be able to stand up for herself?
Maybe she couldn't.. in that case. Maybe I should help her. I'll talk to her if i see her again some day.

I went to kyung's studio, and waited for him to finish work. Then we went home. I took a shower, and went to my room. I had just gotten into bed, when I got a text message.
Is it Mingi?
It wasn't. It was Kyung asking me to bring a glass of water to his room. I went to the kitchen, and got a glass out of the cabinet.
I filled it up with water, and went to his room.
- Here.
I said, and handed him the glass.
- I'm a little cold. Can you get me a blanket?
He asked me.
Seriously? I picked up one of his pillows, and started hitting him with it.
- I'm not your maid.
I said, and kept hitting him. He just laughed, so I left his room.

When I got back to my room, I checked my phone again. It was Mingi this time.
- Finally!
I yelled.

Why am I acting like this?