I Love You, My Friend - Song Mingi

#6

It was a new day, and I felt like a new me. In a couple of hours, I had changed. Everything didn't seem so dark anymore. Maybe it was just
Because of the rays of sunshine that came from my window. But I didn't really believe that.

It had to be because of my text conversation with Mingi yesterday. Would it be so wrong if I kept him as a friend after I got my freedom back? i had been thinking a lot about what Kyung had said about having someone to share my life with. Maybe he was right? Maybe I was being stupid for thinking that being alone was the best for me.

But how could I trust Kyung? How could I trust Mingi? How could I trust anyone, If i couldn't even trust my own father.
And most importantly, they shouldn't trust me. Because I'm not a good person. I was just using them.
I wonder what would happen if they figured it out. I couldn't let them happen. At least not yet.
Most of all, the thought of Mingi hating me if he found out, made me feel sick. I should just stay away from him.
But I can't. Because he seemed like the one that it would be easiest to become friends with.

I was starting to realize that my plan was sort of cruel. I was being cruel. After being hurt so much, how could I hurt someone else? Because lying to them was the same as hurting them, wasn't it?

Get yourself together. Stick to the plan.

I got out of bed, and went to take a shower. The sound of the water running, made it harder to focus on my thoughts. So I stayed there until there was no hot water left. Kyung was going to be so mad about that. But I didn't care. Because I could finally rest. Even when I got out of he shower, I still felt at ease.
I was getting dressed, when Kyung nocked on the bathroom door.
- did you seriously shower for one hour?
He asked me.
- ... No?
I said, and laughed.
- it's not funny you know.
He said, making me laugh even more. I opened the door, and almost got hit in the face because Kyung was about to nock on the door again.
Luckily he wasn't really that mad at me. We went to the kitchen to eat breakfast. Kyung had made abalone porridge.
- where my pancakes?
I asked him.
- you're more than welcome to make them yourself.
He said, and smirked.
I rolled my eyes, and started eating. It wasn't that bad. It tasted like...memories. My mother used to make it for breakfast every day.
Used to...
- You're coming with me today right?
Kyung asked me.
- do I even have a choice?
I asked me.
- oh that's right. You don't.
He said, and smirked again.
I didn't really mind coming with him. Because I knew it meant that I could see Hongjoong and Mingi again. And the others of course...
I was only excited because my plan was going great... it had to be.
so why do I keep doubting that I know what I want?
- we should go now.
Kyung said.
- I'm ready.
I said.
- you need to brush your hair.
He said.
- oh.. right.

After I fixed my hair, we left the apartment.
- so what are your plans today?
Kyung asked me.
- you mean besides being stuck with you?
I said, making him laugh.
- I'm just wondering if you're meeting Hongjoong and the others.
He said.
- I think so.
I said.
- just behave yourself.
He said.
- you behave yourself.
I said mockingly.
- I'm not afraid to hit a girl, you know.
Kyung said.
- Sorry.
I said.

We pulled up to the parking lot, and went to his studio. I didn't know what I was going to do just yet. I didn't know when the Idol group would be available. Idol group... what was even the name of the group?
- Kyung...What's that groups name?
I asked him.
- you seriously don't know?
He asked me.
- obviously not.
I said.
- It's Ateez.
He said.
- what does that even mean?
I asked.
- to be honest I don't know.
He said.

Kyung started working, so I decided to check my phone. I hadn't used it since last night.
I had one text message from Mingi.

Mingi: can I call you?

He sent it yesterday... I shouldn't have turned off my phone. Maybe he thought I was ignoring him. I wouldn't do that.. but still, if he thought that i did, it might slow down my process of becoming his friend.
I should text him back immediately.

Sungyeon: sorry! I fell asleep.

He would probably not respond right away.
But I was wrong.

Mingi: it's ok! What are you up to?
Sungyeon: nothing really.
Mingi: you should come see us practice!
Sungyeon: are you sure that's ok?
Mingi: it's totally ok!
Sungyeon: where do I find you guys, then?
Mingi: I'll come get you!

At least I wouldn't have to wander around like a lost kid. For some reason I wanted to make sure I looked somewhat pretty. I got my makeup from my purse, and started applying some foundation. Just a little.
Maybe I should wear some lip tint or something.
- why are putting on makeup?
Kyung asked me.
- no reason.
I said.
- take it off.
He said.

I got up from the couch, placing my makeup back in my purse. I put my phone in my pocket.
- I'm going now.
I said, and ran out of his studio.
- Ya!!
Kyung yelled as I closed the door behind me.

- what was that about?
Someone said.
Oh, it's Mingi.
- it's nothing, really.
I said, and laughed.
- let's go.
Mingi said, and grabbed my wrist. He quickly let go of it, and looked embarrassed.
- I'm sorry.
He said.
- it's ok.
I said, and smiled.

suddenly, I realized that I wished he would have taken my hand instead.
But friends didn't hold hands, did they?