I Love You, My Friend - Song Mingi

#28

- don't tell me you actually think some higher power is punishing you.
Seonghwa said, and it seemed like he wanted to laugh.
- it's not funny.
I said.
I had met up with seonghwa at a cafe.

I couldn't talk to Mingi about this without him wondering why I felt like I deserved to be punished, so that's why I decided to meet Seonghwa and tell him instead.
Of course seonghwa was curious about what I had done, but it was different.
But that didn't mean I don't feel bad about hiding things from Mingi. I wish I could tell him everything. But I couldn't. Not if it meant I might lose him.
- It's a little funny.
Seonghwa said.
- whatever.
I said, and rolled my eyes, making him laugh.
- bad things happened to both good and bad people.
He said.
- I don't even know if I'm a good or a bad person.
I said.
- I think everyone is a bit of both.
He said.
- when I do something wrong I always convince myself it's for a good reason.
I said.
- don't we all?
He said.
- stop being so positive.
I said, and sighed.
- stop being so negative.
He said, and laughed.

- so what exactly happened earlier today?
He asked me.
I decided to just tell him, and for some reason he just smirked.
- you have anger issues don't you?
He asked me.
- it's a condition.
I said, making him laugh.
- and what about your very well hidden sadness?
He asked me.
- I'm not sad.
I said.
- maybe not anymore. but you used to be.
He said.
- You don't know anything.
I said.
- your brother died and you moved away from your parents, and then you forced a friendship with my group.
He said.
What? How did he know all of this?
- How..? What are you even talking about?
I asked.
- Just because I rarely talk doesn't mean I don't pay attention.
He said.
- if I told you... I I showed you the reason I'm a bad person... what would you do about it?
I asked him.
- if you're wondering if I'll tell people.. that's a no.
He said.
- how can I trust you?
I said.
- Trust has to start somewhere, doesn't it?
He said.

Should I tell him?
I found myself pulling my notebooks out of my bag. I put them in front of me, on the table.
Then I slid them over to Seonghwa's side of the table. He picked them up, and opened one of them. I sat in silence for a few minutes.
Why wasn't he saying anything? Maybe I shouldn't have shown him. But it was to late now anyways.
- Did you really write all this?
Seonghwa asked, finally breaking the silence.
- Yeah.
I said.
- It's really impressive.
He said.
Impressive?
- it's not impressive. It's like on a whole other level. Not in a good way.
I said.
- maybe a little.
He said.
- why did you make this plan?
He asked.
- Desperation.
I said.
- to get friends?
He asked.
- yeah. But not for the right reason.
I said.
- I was just.. using all of you.
I continued.
- and what about now?
He asked.
- I'm not using anyone anymore.
I said.
- You have to make sure no one else find out about this.
He said, and gave me back my notebooks.
- will you help me?
I asked him.
- I told you I would.

After our talk, Seonghwa invited me to come back to their dorm. I really wanted to see Mingi. I was still sad over the fact that I would have to move back in with my father, and I wanted him to comfort me. At least I wasn't angry anymore. I didn't want him to see me like that.
- could you go in first?
I asked seonghwa.
- are you embarrassed about hanging out with me?
He asked me.
- No it's not like that.
I said.
- if you say so.
He said, and went inside the dorm.
I waited five minutes and then nocked on the door. San answered the door, and frowned.
- you're not fried chicken.
He said.
- I'm.. sorry?
I said, making him laugh.
- what's taking so long San!
I heard Mingi saying from inside.
- it's not the food you idiot.
San said.
- who is it then?
Mingi yelled, making me laugh.
Suddenly Mingi came running into the hallway.
- Sungyeon!
He said, and gave me a hug.
- I want a hug too.
San said.
- you can't.
Mingi said, and dragged me away.
- Why didn't you tell me you were coming over?
Mingi asked me.
- I wanted... to surprise you.
I said, and grinned.

We went to the living room, where the rest of the group was. When I sat down beside yeosang, I realized that Mingi had a bandaid on his face. It was a pink hello kitty bandaid. How did I not notice it before?
I started laughing really loud, making everyone look at me like I was crazy.
- Are you..ok?
Yunho asked me.
- it's a hello kitty bandaid...
I said, and kept laughing.
- it's not funny.
Mingi said, and frowned.
- yes it is.
I said.
- this is your fault.
He said.
- what are you talking about? You said it was a cat.
Yeosang asked Mingi.
- it was. I don't know what he's talking about.
I said, and laughed awkwardly.

Mingi and I decided to go to his room, and Yunho followed us.
- when can I meet your cats again?
Yunho asked me, and giggled.
How cute.
- you can just come over anytime.
I said, and laughed.
But then I stopped laughed. Because I realized that soon... my cousins apartment wouldn't be my home anymore. so Yunho couldn't just come over any time. I would have to go back to my father. And I couldn't stand him. And then there was the fact that my brothers room was there. Still untouched. None of us had been able to even enter. It was too painful.

Eventually Yunho left, leaving me and Mingi alone.
- is something bothering you?
Mingi asked me.
He could always tell when something was bothering me, and that was one of the reasons I loved him so much.
- my cousin is.. moving in with Chanhee.
I said.
- but I thought you didn't mind them being together?
He asked me.
- he's moving to her place. And I can't come with.
I said, and sighed.
- Does that mean you'll have to move in with your father?
He asked.
- yeah..
I answered.
I had already told Mingi about how my father was.
- how can they do that to you...
Mingi said, and hugged me.
- can you just hold me for a while?
I asked.
- of course.
Mingi said, and sat down on his bed.
- come here.
He said, and grabbed my hand.
We laid down on the bed, and he put his arm around me. I felt a lot better now. And I realized that maybe... maybe it would be ok to move back to my father. As long as I had Mingi.
- do you want to cry?
Mingi asked me, and laughed.
- you're an idiot.
I said, but laughed as well.

After a while, someone nocked on the door, making me freak out, and push Mingi out of the bed so he landed on the floor.
- I'm so sorry.
I said, but I couldn't help but laugh.
Hongjoong entered the room, and when he saw Mingi on the floor, he laughed as well.
- Mingi, you should come eat before Jongho takes everything.
Hongjoong said.
Mingi got up from the floor, and we walked out of his room. I noticed San and Wooyoung was feeding each other. It was kind of adorable.
- Are you guys a couple?
I asked them, making them move away from each other.
- Are you and Mingi a couple?
Wooyoung asked me, and smirked.
- No,we're not.
I said, and laughed awkwardly.
- Jongho said you were.
San said.
Oh my god..
Had Jongho really told everyone?
- oh,was I supposed to keep it a secret?
Jongho asked.
- Yes you idiot.
Mingi said.

AN: only one chapter today guys, sorry. I'm having a massive headache from not going outside for like 1 week.