UNCERTAINTY

34

Deanna's

I'm watching Jema as she's sleeping next to me.

I want to memorize her face gusto ko kahit nakapikit nakikita ko parin siya.

I want to make the most of our time every day. Hindi niya man sabihin alam ko nahihirapan na siya.

She's always ready to give way for me to be happy, sobrang unselfish siya.

I don't know if I deserve that kind of love from her.

I hug her tight.

I don't want to give up on us,

Naghahanap ako ng paraan kung saan hindi ko siya kailangan iwan.

I promise her that I will not leave her.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you." I keep on whispering I love you on her hanggat sa di ko na namamalayan ang mga luha sa mata ko.

"I love you so much."

She suddenly kiss my eyes napahinto ako.

"Don't cry, mahal na mahal kita I'm not asking you stay with me, do what you think is the best, I'm here to support you. Andito lang ako kahit anong mangyari andito lang ako." She said

"I want you to stay, gagawa ako ng paraan walang iwanan diba."

Tumango lang siya.

"Ayaw kitang nasasaktan Deanna, ayaw ko makita kang nahihirapan kung kailangan paulit ulit akong maghintay at paulit ulit akong magparaya maging masaya ka lang ayos lang."

"I'm happier when I'm with you."

"Pero yan ba ng sa tingin mo ang tama sa ngayon Deanna yung happiness natin while she's suffering?" She asked me

"Alam ko na hindi mo kaya na balewalain siya, nahihirapan ka lang." She continues

"Pero hindi ko naman kasi kayang iwan ka nalang, I can't do that I just can't, so please wala sa option ko ang iwan ka Jema I'm staying with you, maghahanap ako ng paraan to fix things with Pongs kakausapin ko si Ate Therese."

"Naiipit kana kasi Deans, lalo ka lang mahihirapan nyan ayaw ko umabot sa punto na hindi mo na makaya."

"Kaya ko, kakayanin ko lahat para sayo, Wala akong balak na iwan ka wala."

Wala siyang nagawa kundi tumango.

I almost gave up on her sa totoo lang but when I heard her whispering last night to don't leave her.

My heart got shattered into pieces.

How can I let that happen?

Sobrang nasasaktan din siya.

And she don't deserve that, we will be facing this together.

I'm not gonna leave her.

Not again.

Kinausap ko si Ate Therese ng kami lang I tell her about my plan.

"I'll do everything that I can do to help her to convince her to undergo treatment Ate."

"Thank you Deans, thank you talaga, pero how about Jema?"

"Labas si Jema dito Ate, what we have will remain in private, hindi ko siya iiwan."

"Pero pag nalaman ni Pongs na kayo na it will affect her."

"Pero hindi ko pwede iwan si Jema Ate, mahal ko siya I will do my best to help her pero hindi ko pwedeng iwan si Jema."