Dear Carson

Complications

After school, Trevor had to go home to his moms early to decorate. I was bored and thinking of you and locked away in my room. I was a little happier now, despite our situations. Of course I wanted to change things back to what they were, but as much as I wanted that, I wasn't going to get that. I was thinking of a million little things. And, watching Dance Moms. Beth was at as football game, and I received a new text message from her. Which, was odd, considering she usually blocks my cell #.

"Find my red pants and check the back pocket."

"Why?" I replied.

"Carson gave me a note for you."

My heart stopped. He... Wrote me back?

I was terrified. I sat there frozen for a few minutes.

What if he wrote me a note to... Break up with me? What if it's an angry note? Or.. Could he possibly.. Have written me a.. Kind note?

I decided to find the note. Checking Beth's gym bag, I pulled out her jeans and immediately I saw the outline of the note in her back pocket.

He really wrote me a note.

Slowly pulling it out, I felt something attached to it.

Tears filled my eyes. Taped to the letter was a silver lock... He gave me, another lock..

He colored some of it in with blue.. He remembers my favorite color.

Slowly removing it, I read what he wrote.

"You have the lock, and I have the key. Don't forget to remember me."

My heart melted. I never could forget him. Ever. He is all on my mind and the majority of what I talk about.

On the other side it had my name on it.

Peeling the tape off I unfolded it once and read what was written next.

"For Tori's eyes only." To the side, he drew a set of eyes. I giggled.

Oh how I misses his humor.

Opening it more, I immediately smelt his scent.

Carson. I closed my eyes. How I've missed him.

Reading what he wrote, I laughed.

"I sprayed some of my cologne so you can still remember my scent. I LUZ YOU."

That explains it..

Unfolding it until it was a actual piece of paper, I smiled..

At the top it had my name, with a heart and a kissy face. Then to the far right, Tussie.

"Bae, I LOVE YOU! I have kissed all over this page. When you feel sad or mad whenever you feel like it, just know, this page contains all of my kisses. Just.For.YOU! love, Carson, Carsy, Gingy."

Bellow he drew an enormous box and wrote "kisses are in this box!(;"

All the hopeless hope of what had happened over the past week, all my sadness, all my anger and hurt suddenly vanished. My heart began beating, and my pulse began racing. I was alive. I'm alive. I was awake. I wasn't trapped anymore. I was breathing. I looked down at the note and caught a few tears. I loved. Carson. My emotions were waking up. Carson. My heart began hurting. Carson. I need you. I miss you.

I wanted to run across the street and hug you. Run right through the front door and jump into your arms. Hear you say everything was okay and that you miss and love me just as much as I missed and loved you. I wanted it hear you couldn't live without me either, that you couldn't move on. That you needed my hugs and you needed me as much as I needed you. This letter meant the world to me. New hope began burning.