Dear Carson

A Year Ago

10/20/14:

A year ago from this day, I fell in love with my best-friend.. I first realized how much he meant to me and how much I cared for him. I discovered the true meaning of love and happiness. A year ago I went to a haunted house with him. It was him, me, his dad, and step-mom. I've always loved haunted houses and honestly, Carson is the only person who will go in them with me.. I have no one else for this.. This years haunted house I'll have to go in alone..

Anyways.

I remember the way my heart felt beating while we waited in line for our turn. The minute they let us back there, Carson took my hand in his and never let go until we got back to the truck. It was so adorable and I loved every bit of it. I even tried to gain more time in there by taking wrong paths and getting us more lost. I really liked him at the time. I remember how much I loved having him hold my hand. I loved seeing the chill bumps along his skin and how scared he was. He was so goofy and so funny. I loved him. And I still do and probably always will. I know he doesn't want to hear any of this from me anymore..

I just don't understand how he drops me just like that. Pretends that nothing ever happened. Like he had never had feelings for me, or did anything with me, or said he loved me, or had those special moments, or even kissed me so passionately that I thought I would literally die from the overwhelming feelings and love. How did he forget me just like that? And treat me like a stranger? Like I've done something so horribly wrong? When all I ever did was love him. Love who he is. That's all I ever did.

My life completely changed a year ago, when I truly fell in love with someone so perfect and so special to me.

"If loving you kills me tonight, or tomorrow, or a day to come, then I was preparing myself for death, the moment I saw you smile, and the moment you said 'hello.'''