Please Don't Drift Away

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11/13/14:
Dear Carson,

Please don't drift away from me.
Please.
We don't have to drift. We can stand together. This is just a bump in the road. God's testing us. Seeing if we can stay together through hard times.
I don't want to kiss anyone else but you.
I don't want to do what we did with any one else but you.
I don't want to hold another hand,
Hug another body,
Love anyone else but you.
I don't want to drift from you. Ever. Please. Please. I'm beggining you please. If only you could see my tears that I'm fighting and feel my heart. Please. Don't drift.
Stay... Please. I'll do anything for you..
Please try harder. Please stay with me. To keep me alive please..
I don't care if we have to be friends for now or even the fwb. I jump for either. I just want to see you. I want to know that you want the same thing too.. If you even do.
Your scent is overwhelming me from your beanie. I keep closing and opening my eyes hoping you'll be right there.
They can't keep us away forever.
I wish I could tell you all this. I wish I could let you know how I feel. I wish you knew how much I miss you and how  much I want you to stay.. You don't have I drift. You can always steer your boat towards me, you just have to paddle a little.
I'm going to ride the bus everyday now. I can't stand not seeing you. I need you. I want you. I care for you. And I love you. And part of me feels like you feel the same way. That you just don't know how to fix things, so you let your parents boss you around. We can change this..
Or.. Part of me could also be wrong.
I miss you. And I'm going to fight for you.

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