I'm loosing it again... I'm starting to think.. And thinking leads to remembering.. And remembering leaves to missing.. Which leads to crying.. Which leads to cutting.. Which leads to going insane.. Which leads to depression... I can't.. I miss you.. I keep hoping that a miracle will happen and we will be together again... We were so happy.. It's hard to think back but I can remember many things.. Many smiles and laughs. So much happiness... I remember that one kiss that turned into a longer kiss that one night.. It was shocking to us because we had never done anything but a quick kiss.. We were a fully in sync.. I loved you so much. I really did. And I still do. It makes me upset to think I can't see you like I want. It breaks my heart to know you can be just as unhappy as me.. Except you don't cut or anything.. Well.. As far as I know you don't.. I haven't cut since October 31st.. It's extremely hard.. But I'm trying sooo hard not to.. Normally I block my mind out and distract myself. But I can't. It's getting close to my birthday... Getting close to January.. That was our beginning. The kisses, cuddles, "I love Yous", staying up all night, sneaking out, loving each other, and becoming closer than ever... I don't want to go through it without you... I don't want to begin 2015 without you. If I can't have you with me, with all of us in 2015, then no one will have me at all.
So I hope God will be kind and let this be our lesson and make it a miracle and us all come together. But like I said. All it is, is hope.
Maybe it will come reality.
YOU ARE READING
Dear Carson
Cerita PendekDear Carson, do you ever think about me? Do you ever miss me? When you hear our song, does it make your heart ache? Or does it remind you of us? Or do you still not care? You hurt me. You really did. You still do. I don't thinks you realize the pain...
