Forever and Always

Chapter 10 - A Reunion

"Eren," Levi said as we neared the bay city. I looked up at him, willing him to continue his thought. "I want you to know that I love you. I will always love you. You are the light of my life and my rock. I don't love anybody else the way that I love you. I see the way you look when I get all touchy with Petra. I know that you feel like you can't talk to me about it because you don't wanna seem possessive, but Baby, I understand why you feel threatened. Petra and I have history. She saw me through some rough times. But I didn't even love her until months after I realized what love felt like. I loved you first. 

"As much as I love Poppy, I moved out here for you. She has Farlan and Isabel to take care of her, and I have to take care of what I need. I need you. Never, for a second, forget that you're number one, Eren. I love you so much and I feel like such a limpdick for relying on you for everything I do. I haven't ever done that kind of thing with anybody before. I want you to know that you can rely on me, too. I can't just continue to sap the life out of you without giving you anything back. I've been such a little bitch the last few months. I know you deal with all of my bullshit, and I'm sorry that it has to be you, every time, Eren. 

"I don't know where this is coming from, but I felt like you needed to hear that." Levi took my hand. I had no idea that that was exactly what I needed Levi to say, but after he said that, I felt a warm feeling bubbling up in my core. 

"Thanks," I choked awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck. "That meant a lot. I love you. And, you don't sap life out of me. I give you what I can spare, Levi. It's nights like the one the other day that sap the life out of me. Usually you do nothing but fill my cup. I almost never feel neglected by you. You do more than enough to make me feel loved. And it's only me every time because I want it to be me every time. Don't ever forget that it's okay to lean on me. You're going through a lot right now."

"Thanks, Eren. You're too perfect. Sappy moments aside, I'm so fucking pumped to see Kirschtein. You talk with him more than I do, how's he doing? I don't think that kid knows how to get the fuck off Snapchat. He takes, like, twenty years to reply to texts."

"Well, maybe you should get Snapchat, like a normal person. Jean's doing okay. He's still pretty broken about Marco. Apparently they'd been dating for almost a year. That'll fuck you up for a while. He's lost a lot of weight. He's skinnier than I am now." 

Jean had sent me some pictures of himself recently, and he was not the same boy that Levi and I knew. The last time I had seen him in person, he was intimidatingly taller and more muscular than I was. The change he had gone through since I had last heard from him was drastic. His cheeks were hollow, dark bags permanently resting under his eyes. He was skinny as a rail. He was at least six foot two, and weighed less than I did, sitting at the low end of healthy for a five-ten teenage boy.

"Are you serious? He's taller than you, Eren. Has he been eating okay?"

"Levi, mental hospitals take a lot out of you. I was in one for a few weeks before I was shipped off to Asheville. I lost, like, five pounds. He's been in and out of them for six months. That'll make even strong minded people like Jean kinda lose themselves. Especially after losing somebody so important to him." 

"Yeah, I know. I was never in those long, but yeah they fucking sucked. God, that was rough. Losing Marco like that was awful. Honestly, they had a better shot than we did until all that happened. Fuck. But let's not get all depressed before we see him. We aren't gonna talk about any of this unless Jean brings it up."

"Yeah, of course."

"Text him and tell him ten minutes." I did as I was told, snapping Jean our ETA. He responded instantly.

"Well, that was earlier than you said," Jean texted.

"Yeah. We can wait if you're not ready yet," I replied.