Forever and Always

Chapter 59 - A Weight Off the Shoulders

Armed with a large chocolate milkshake from McDonald's, Levi drove towards Petra's apartment nearly ten miles above the speed limit when the traffic would permit. His hand was on mine, gently running his fingers over my uninjured knuckles. I hadn't used my left hand as heavily in the fight, so it hadn't needed gauze like my right hand had. I took a sip of my shake with my right hand, sucking in a breath through my teeth. Still not totally processing his presence in the car, holding my hand, steering the car with his clunky pink cast, a constant reminder for him to keep his eyes on the road.

"I love you so much," Levi said suddenly, an unusual sentimentality in his soft words. He patted my hand lovingly and glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "I made a promise to you that I would make it up to you, so here I am. I emailed my professors and classmates for notes and homework. I'm gonna make the tests up after Thanksgiving."

The weight of his decision to up and leave Massachusetts was several times heavier than my decision to visit him for a few days. I had to make up homework, but Levi would have to make up entire units of missed work. "Wow, Levi. I- thank you. You don't have to if you don't want to, I mean, I can manage. It's just been hard. But, seriously, you don't have to."

"No, apparently I do, Eren," Levi argued softly, obvious conflict in his eyes. "You don't seem to understand this. I couldn't give a rat's ass about my grades at school if you aren't taken care of. I've neglected you, and I'm sorry. I think we need to talk seriously about a couple of things. I've come to terms with some stuff, and I need to make you aware of some things." I nodded and he slammed on the breaks as a Chevy pickup cut us off in a highly illegal maneuver. We lurched forward and Levi hit the horn aggressively. "Oh my fucking god you fucking cyka! What in the name of Satan's Hell are you fucking doing, you fucking cuntwad?!" he shouted, letting out an exasperated sigh once the tension dispersed. "Fucking trucks thinking they own the fucking road," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "Russian this time?" I joked.

"It comes out when I'm driving," and an eye roll was his only response as we approached the apartment building. It was in a nicer neighborhood as Levi had apparently insisted on when they first moved out, his reasoning being that he wanted Petra as safe as possible in an entirely new habitat. He had insisted on a generic car in a neutral color for her, too, as it was less likely to be stolen. He even taught her basic self defense in case of emergency. Levi pulled into Petra's parking spot, putting the car in park and cutting the engine.

He pulled out something from the pocket of his leather jacket that looked a little like a pen, sucking on it and blowing out a small cloud of vapor, sucking the pure white back up his nose and out his mouth again. "I've quit everything else, Eren. Promise. This is a disposable E-cigarette. I don't do it often, but I've been really stressed about a lot of things."

"I understand. As long as you keep your big promises. And I know it isn't an addiction because I've only ever seen you smoke a cigarette one time. I believe you. Also, it's hot as fuck what you just did with your nose right there." Levi chuckled quietly through his nose, taking another hit of the E-cig. "And as long as it isn't gross tasting when I kiss you."

"It's mint," he replied sardonically, kissing me quickly. The cool mint was fresh on his lips, bringing a smile onto my own. "Nothing too yucky, Your Highness," he murmured against them.

I rolled my eyes. "Clearly. But you couldn't be yucky if you tried," I snorted. "So, we gonna go inside?"

"We should talk out here. Let's finish our shakes in here, Love. I have some things I have to tell you, but first, I want to ask you a question."

"Okay," I nodded, leaning over and kissing him again, feeling a tension behind his lips as he kissed me back. He was battling some kind of demon whether he realized it or not, though more likely than not, he was well aware of the inner torment he was facing. More likely than not, that was what he intended to discuss with me. "What's your question?" I asked, but he was lost in thought, trapped in his own mind. There was a flickering light behind his eyes, a dying light. His ears hadn't even communicated to his warring mind that I had spoke. "Levi." He snapped to attention, his eyes wide and for a moment, a flash of fear in them. "What's your question?" I asked, trying to keep him on topic.