Made the meme to go with the chapter lol.
“Eren,” Levi said after a long time, laying tangled up in his bed with me. “What if I go to Hell?”
I was taken aback by his sudden philosophical mood, but I answered to the best of my ability. “You won’t. But you’re not even religious, so what does it matter?”
“I dunno. What if there is a Hell, and it has my name written all over it? I’m a bad person, Eren.”
“No you’re not. You’re a damaged person, just like the rest of us.”
“The rest of us except for you,” he scoffed. “But being damaged isn’t something that would excuse me being a piece of shit human being. That’s not how Karma works or whatever.”
“I’m just as damaged as everybody else, Levi. You kinda see me through some rose tinted shades, but I spent the summer in Juvie when I was fifteen. I was getting drunk every night, and screaming at my mom and my sister about shit that I don’t even remember being mad about. Just like my dad. And even after the jail time, and all the rehab, I still only wanna get drunk and forget it all. It takes so much work to stay sober. It’s so hard for me to go to AA meetings by myself, and know that for some reason, I’m a better person when I’m miserable.”
“I understand that feeling, Love. I don’t think I was ever the angry drunk, but there wasn’t a time between the ages of fourteen and seventeen that I was both awake and sober. God, I love cocaine, Eren. When I did coke, I felt like I was fuckin’ king of the world. It was beautiful. And acid. Oh my God. It felt like I was lost in Narnia, seeing all kinds of cool shit. One time I had like an hour long conversation with a tree in Central Park. That was wild. We talked about everything. Politics; my kid; why unicorns aren’t real, but giraffes are; and all kinds of amazing shit. I miss getting high, Eren. But memories of the crashes and the overdoses, partnered with me being paranoid about what you would do if I dropped acid keep me sober. I’m not exactly the shining golden boy of sobriety, but I really am trying, Eren.”
“I know you are,” I assured him, gently touching his face. I knew he was trying, and I couldn’t have been more proud of him if he became president of the United States. “It means the world to me, and when Poppy gets older and understands the world a little better, it’ll mean the world to her, too.”
“You think so?” Levi asked, his grey eyes lighting up in a way that made him look so candidly like Poppy that I did a double take.
“Absolutely.” There was another long pause between words. “Are you ready to call Farlan?”
“Let’s put some clothes on first. Calling Farlan totally naked sounds like a phone sex threeway waiting to happen.”
“How is that where your mind went?” I asked, snickering at him and rolling my eyes at his odd, sexual humor as he stood and threw the pentagram hoodie over his head, grabbing a clean pair of boxers out of his drawer and tossing them at me, before grabbing a pair for himself.
“I dunno. Don’t question it. But, pause. Shit you smell good, Eren! What fucking body wash are you using?”
“Suave?” I asked, while Levi smelled his hoodie. I slipped on the boxers, happy that Levi’s neurotic cleaning tendencies made sure that both of us were clean after sex, even if we didn’t get to shower. He threw a shirt at me as he pulled a pair of black sweats over his legs.
“Well it’s a good one, for damn sure.” I threw the shirt on, some kind of band tee shirt with what looked like an intense Celtic knot.
“What band is this?” I asked, pointing at my shirt.
YOU ARE READING
Forever and Always
FanfictionSEQUEL. Takes place six months after the end of Just Five Days. Levi and Eren are going strong, but Levi is harboring a secret that could change everything.
