You Were Meant For Me (Nemi)

Part 13

The kiss lingered for a while and when they pulled away, she kept her eyes closed as to hold the tears from falling. Unfortunately, she failed and unknowingly let out a soft sniffle.

When he heard the sniffle and saw her eyes were wet with tears, he started to panic. "Oh God, I shouldn't do that. That was careless." He felt ashamed for what he did and mentally cursing himself.

She wiped her wet face with the back of her hand as another set of tears fell. She inhaled deeply and let it out slowly, trying to compose herself from the surprise. She couldn't utter any word because she didn't know how to react to what just happened. Why the hell had he kissed her? How can he be so thoughtless about kissing someone he didn't have any memory about? Was he playing with her feeling?

"I-I uhm..." He tried to speak more, but a sudden lump formed in his throat. He didn't know how to explain why he kissed her. As much as he was attracted to her, he realized that kissing her was a wrong move to make, especially when the relationship between them was never clearly defined. As much as he knew that they were in a relationship, but that was merely because it was repeatedly told by his family and friends.

She lowered her head, trying to compose herself. She knew she can't control herself from the mix feelings that rushed over her – sadness, anger, frustration and joy. So she decided it was best for her to just leave. If she stayed there any longer, she had no idea what would come out from her mouth. "I think it is best for me to leave now." She spoke softly, but her voice trembles. She slowly turned on her heels.

When he saw she turned to the door, he couldn't help but feeling guilty and sorry for what he did. With all the hardship she went through because of his memory loss of his past, he should be more considerate of how she would feel. And kissed her wasn't the best move. "Demi, I'm sorry..."

When she heard he spoke, she suddenly felt a rush of resentment came over her heart. She took a deep breath and turned her whole body, facing him. "What are you really sorry for? Why do you have to feel sorry for me?" Her expression was stoic, but disenchantment was evident in her eyes. Tears started to form in her eyes, but refrained herself from crying.

The questions puzzled him. He didn't understand why she asked such a thing. He didn't know how to respond so he stammered. "I-i..."

Her eyes were looking deeper into his brown orbs with an intensity he never sees before. "Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to wake up every day to face the fact that I'm a stranger to you? Do you know how frustrated it is to be by your side, but I can't hold you like I want to? Do you know how it feels to love someone so much, but he doesn't feel the same anymore? I missed you so fucking much, it hurts. It's damn painful, Nick. You have no idea how bad I'm longing for your kiss. I missed everything about you – your kiss, your touch, your skin on mine. I would kiss you over and over, but not like this...not when everything about me is so unfamiliar to you." Her lips quivered.

He only managed to blink his eyes as he looked at her. Every word coming from her felt like a slap in the face. He never knew Demi had been holding so much in ever since his accident. This was a revelation of how she really felt. However, he felt the need to explain about why he kissed her. Although what he did was insensitive, he did it because he was attracted to her. Not because he felt sorry for her. As he opened his mouth to speak, she cut in.

"I'm trying my best to stay strong for you because I'm hopeful that one day you will come back to me and we'll be together again. I'm so happy to see your progress. I even get a little impatient sometimes. But as much as I want have you like before, I won't take advantage of you until your memory recover." She closed her eye briefly. The tears she was holding finally fell from her eyes. Then she lifted her eyes to meet his. "Maybe we should keep a distance from each other for a while. I want you to get better, but I really don't think helping you would help me be better. My heart's suffered enough and what just happened doesn't make the pain any lesser." As she said her final piece, she turned on her heels to the door. The pain in her chest was getting more severe. The old Demi would outburst of anger, but she was surprised by how she handled the situation in a self-possessed manner. She wasn't sure how it would affect her relationship with Nick, but she had to say what she had to say.