Rolling in the deep 2

C28 "Kilig explained"

RID2#CHAPTER 28
KILIG EXPLAINED

I saw when the last shovel of dirt covered her coffin.

I saw how her mother broke down.

I saw how Titi waved at her goodbye

And beside me I saw Gavin who was looking at the dirt infront of us that already have covered Ica's coffin.

Isang napakatahimik na seremonya, maliban sa daing at hagulgol ni Virginia ay wala ng maririnig sa paligid.

How did Ica lived her life?

Naisip ko wala din siguro alam ang mga kaibigan ni Ica na pumanaw na siya.

I looked around and there
were few people around us who were just there, at hindi ko alam kung nalungkot man lang sila sa pagpanaw niya.

At ako? Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nararamdaman ko. I was focused more on Titi who doesn't know that the woman she was waving at was her mother.

Hindi tama ang ginawa nila. But who am I to judge? Ica's reason on why she made Titi believed that she wasn't the mother was clearly a painful sacrifice.

Sino ba naman ang ina na hindi gugustuhing kilalanin siya na ina ng anak niya?

But did she have a choice? All mothers want the best for their children and maybe Ica thought that it was for the best for Titi.

A tear rolled my cheek. 'Rest well Ica.' I bid my goodbye at saka tumango tango, finally embracing the idea that she wanted me to take care of Titi.

'I promise to take care of her' usal ko.

Binuhat ko ang anak ko. Yes, from this day on, Titi is my daughter. Niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit na mahigpit. No one will attest that she isn't my daughter. Sa mga nakakaalam ng istorya I will make sure that they shut their mouths.

Titi has me. I am her mother, end of story.

Gavin's hand held my waist. It was almost painful kasi sa totoo lang mahal ko siya but the feeling that I was not the option ay iba parin ang tama sa pride ko.

All women have their pride gaano man nila kamahal ang lalaki.

Bahagya akong lumayo para maalis ang kamay niya sa baywang ko.

He sighed but then pasensiya muna siya. I still have to adjust on the thought that I wasn't his choice.

Hindi naman kasi ganon kadali. Oo para kay Titi ang lahat ng ginawa niya pero naisip ko, how about me?

I need reflection, tao din lang ako. Nalilito. Nagpapabebe.

"Hand me Titi, mabigat na siya" he whispered. Kaya ibinigay ko sa kanya ang bata. Kanina pa din kasi ako tinitignan ng nanay ni Ica.

So I walked towards her.

"Virginia" mahinang tawag ko.

"Aunt Virginia for you" she said and gave me a weary smile.

"You know?" I asked her.

"Recently, Gavin told me--he told me everything, even your break up, I am sorry."

Tumango ako. "It's been long done Aunt Virginia and Ica is already at peace, she is no longer in pain so that is something to be thankful about" saad ko.

"I-I know" she sobbed again.

"And about T-Titi, Uhmn..." I trailed.

"She's your daughter" she said and held my arms. "Please take care of her. I failed to do that to Ica so please I beg you, love her like she's really yours"