HETALIA CRACK

Germany x readerrrr!!!:D

Oh yeah, das right ma peeps! A GERMANY x reader. ..YASSSS I hope you guys dont hate me for it, because frankly I suck at these...so lol XD

You were currently derping on wattpad in your room, and eating cookie dough when you heard the awesome ringtone (fav song) blare from your jacket pocket.You rolled your eyes and answered, then rolled onto your back "Yello?" You asked, twirling a peice if hair around you finger.

"(Y/n)?" Your favorite German asked through the phone. In all honesty, you kinda sorta maybe had a bit of a fancy for him...and you broke into a mini happy dance as you got some more cookie dough.

"Yeh?" You ate a peice of cookie dough and licked the chocolate off your fingers.

"Jou know that book you just finished? (Fav book)?"

"Mhm."

"Can I borrow it?" The Blonde asked, taking a sip of the water he had In his hand, he had just finished a 2k run.

You thought about it, since you weren't fond of lending your boss collection of books.*Because it could get lost, stolen or dropped in a puddle..* you mentally listed off the reasons not to, but nevertheless replied "yeah, sure Luddy, I'll bring it over right now.." you grabbed it off the shelf and got up.

" No! You don't have to do that..." he protested frantically.

"It's no problem Lud, sersly, I'll be right over" you clicked off the phone and put it back into your F/C hoodie.You then realized you had to change, because you were in a tank top and yoga pants; and The pervy albino lurked in Lud's house too...

Opening your wardrobe, you picked out and threw on a thin white shirt over your tank top and some jeans.Then grabbed the book and got raced off on your bike.

You had always liked the weather where you lived, but as you heard the crack of thunder, you couldnt help but cringe. Pulling your bike into Ludwig's yard, you pulled off your baseball cap and knocked on the door.

And just your luck, Gilbert answered the door...such...great. -_-

"Ehh...hey..Gilbert..." You propped your elbow on the door frame "Where's Luds?" You just cant stop making weird nicknames for that guy!!! XD

"Kesekesekese~ Lovely (y/n); he is finishing his treadmill training-zingy" He waved you in, and looked around suspiciously.

You turned to face him once you were in the living room,"I just had to give him this..." you produced the BOSS book from your hoodie.

All of a sudden, the albino seemed to stare right past you...making offensive gestures...wait what?

You turned around just in time to be drenched in..orange...gatorade..? "WHAT THE FREKIN SHEET!?!?" You screetched, clenching your fists.

After your little orange tinted tantrum, you realized that the person who had dumped that sugar high inducing syrup all over you and Gilbert; was in fact France.

You must have been fuming, because France wouldn't stop staring at you...oh shit its not your face..you realized with embarrassment...your purple bra was showing through your shirt...fabulous.the one thing to most avoid in a room of perverts.

"France..." You started, eerily quiet; But as you were launching into a full on blue streak, you heard a door slam.You turned around to see...Germany.

He was shirtless and still sweat slicked from his run-treadmill-thingy.You felt the heat rise to your face as he slowly strided over to you.He gave you a WTF look and you nodded toward France, and he seemed to get the message..because he went over to France; More angry than you have ever seen, which was saying alot.Because he was mother-fruking Germany.AND SLAPPED THAT FREKIN PURVE IN DA FACE.HARD.

France collapsed into the floor, and was dragged out the door by Gilbert; who was probably either taking him home, or to a strip bar.

Ewe...just ewe...you thought at the idea.*shudder shudder*

Germany turned around and gave you a once over, and probably noticed the..clothing malfunction; because his face was a deep scarlet, and he quickly averted his eyes.

The awkward moment-ness continued; but was broken by the boom of thunder, and the crashing of rain against the concrete drive way.

"Crap" you muttered, realizing you cant bike home.

Ludwig gazed out the window and looked at you,"Joi vant to just spend ze night here?It vould be vay easier..." He sighed, it wasnt as abrupt as it sounded; because you and him were childhood friends and had grown up being very comfortable with each other,so obviously you both had spent the night with each other before.

"Yeah Ludman XD" You answered, trying to stop being all sticky and...orange.

He soon re-realized the situation apparently because he said "Jou know vere ze bazroom is: jou can borrow some of my clothes."

You walked up the stairs and started the shower, got in and watched the orange stream into the drain.

After your shower you noticed a Button up shirt and some boxers folded on the counter.You picked them up and put them on; it was pretty obvious that these were Geemany's because they had to roll up like 4 times before the shirt could actually not smother you.

You stepped out and noticed the buttons on the shirt were in the wrong holes, and you being all OCD and cral had to fix them.So you ducked into the nearest room and unbottoned the top, leaving you in your semi-soaked bra.Yes, it was as uncomfortable as it sounded.And jumped when the door was opened by..Yep you guessed it . Germany.

He walked a couple of steps before he realized you were there, then finally noticed you.in his room.semi naked.talk about awkward.

"Uhh-" His voice cracked.Germany's voice doesnt crack.Ever.

Even though you were red from head to toe, you managed to act nonchalant; and put your hands in your hips, raised your eyebrows and smirked."What?" You asked, deciding to take a chance and see if he liked you back.You were boss like that.

He just stood there in mid step, eyes going up and down you like he was France.Can someone please tell me how I got into this situation? You thought

 

GERMANY POV OH YES I WENT THERE

"Ehhhh...."  I managed to utter, seemingly not able to form a coherent sentence.Well you cant really blame me, can you? I thought, after all; (y/n) was in my room, half naked and standing there like this is completely normal.

I was having trouble controlling myself, because Let me Tell Jou. ECH LEIBE DEICH LYNX EVER SINCE WE WERE 5.And zis vas an overload of lucky. BIGGEST FANTASY HERE AND ALL I COULD DO VAS STAND ZERE LIKE A VEGETABLE.

Normal pov.

"Good god, Lud, You've seen me in a bathing suit! Stop being so lovestruck, you little bratwurst dude." You joked, buttoning up the top and walking outta the room, calling as you went down "IF YA LIKE WHAT YA SEE MEET ME IN PRUSSIA'S ROOM"

Germany immediately obliged and ran down.

----TIMESKIP----

"Ugh, France why did jou do zat?!" Prussia yelled into the phone, walking to his room to go to bed, because it was like 2 in the morning.

"Vell; JOU SHOULD'NT HAVE SPILLED MILKSHAKE IN MY HAIR" The blonde yelled through the phone.

"It vas an accident.." the prussian Chided as  he hung up and opened his door.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"He screamed as he ran out of the house; trying to wipe un-wipable images from his memory.