Roommates // Ben Hardy

Chapter Fifteen

"oh hey Zoe" you said, hiding the fact you were shaking, which caused her to give you an odd look. "I assume you're here for your stuff" you added, finally realising why she was here. Zoe has been at the back of your mind after the past few days.

"yeah, I'd also like to avoid Ben if at all possible" she said quietly.

"yeah he's in the shower, I'll just grab your stuff" you said, confused as to why she was so adamant that she didn't want to see him. He didn't make it seem like they ended on bad terms.

You came back a minute later with her stuff. "so why don't you wanna see Ben?" you asked. "I thought you had a mutual breakup, and that you were on good terms" you added.

"is that what he told you?" she scoffed and you nodded, confusion clouding your mind. Why would Ben lie to you? "honestly, he has feelings for you, and I didn't want to be second to someone else" she said, gently.

"what? No he doesn't that's ridiculous-" you started but were interrupted by the sound of the shower water stopping.

"ask him" she quickly added, before leaving. You quickly closed the door and resumed your place at your laptop.

Did Ben really have feelings for you? Of course he didn't you thought. He would've told you the real reason they broke up if that were the case...right? You went back to dress searching when you finally found a boutique that you liked and they had a space free for today. You would need to take your wheelchair, but it was only round the corner from your apartment.

Ben left the bathroom, with only a towel around his waist, and Zoe's words echoed in your head.

You cleared your throat, averting your gaze from Ben's bare torso. "Ben I think I'm gonna go for a dress fitting for the Oscars later today" you said, trying to keep your eyes up.

"are you sure you'll be okay?" he asked, looking at you suspiciously.

"I'm not completely clueless, I can work a wheelchair Ben" you scoffed.

"okay, I'm probably going to go out and meet Joe while you're out then" he said, heading to his room.

"ooh, have fun with your boyfriend" you joked, causing him to turn around and put his middle finger up at you, which made you laugh.

*Ben's POV*

He left the apartment at the same time as you to go meet Joe. It was the first time they'd properly spoken since the incident and Joe was desperate for a proper update.

When he arrived Joe hugged him. He had been so worried about Ben that day; it hurt him to see Ben that scared and worried. They both sat down at their table and got a beer.

"so I'm guessing there's been no update on you telling y/n about your feelings for her?" Joe asked, disappointedly.

"no, I can't" Ben responded.

"Why not?" Joe asked.

Ben stared into his beer, his eyes going glossy. "because what if something like that ever happened again one day. Imagine I had ruined everything by telling her I have feelings for her or that we had broken up. Then imagine that we weren't speaking because of that. She would have to deal with this herself and I couldn't be there to support her. I think that would break my heart more than anything" Ben said, his heart aching at every word.

"what are you gonna do?" Joe asked.

Ben paused before answering. "I'm gonna do what I've done for the entire time I've know y/n. I'm gonna push them deep down somewhere that I won't find them"

Joe patted him on the arm, giving him a tight-lipped smile, before continuing to drink his beer.

*y/n's POV*

You arrived at your dress fitting in your wheel chair. You had a hard time explain to the woman fitting your dress for you that you would be okay to stand up from the wheelchair to be fitted into your dress, until eventually she understood.

You were beginning to get frustrated at how many people were treating you like you were made of glass, which was truly unfair on the woman fitting your dress seen as she had no idea what your situation was like.

You tried on a gold dress; and then a black dress; until you came to the perfect dress. It was a long red dress with a slit up the leg and flowed behind you as you walked. It had a V-neck with straps that met around the back of your neck. It hugged your curves perfectly and you knew, that with a good hair-do and some makeup, you would stun everyone on the red carpet.

You paid for the dress, and told the woman you'd come back for it later when Ben could drive you and pick it up.

You got back to your apartment and decided to go back to your work on your laptop. After only a few minutes you heard footsteps walking towards your apartment, and you felt your heart thump harder and faster. The footsteps eventually walked past your apartment, but by now you were anxious and agitated.

You kept thinking you could hear footsteps around your apartment. You were constantly up and down, checking the rooms, and checking the corridor to your apartment. You were being really quiet as if someone would hear you in your own empty apartment - you kept thinking maybe someone had climbed in a window or through some secret hidden part of your apartment.

You were a mess after about 10 minutes of this. You knew it was impossible that anyone could get into your apartment with you searching like this, but you still felt like you had to keep checking. You couldn't tell if you felt safer with the doors open or closed.

Eventually you sat at the front of your apartment, with a baseball bat you had found in Ben's room, sobbing into your knees. You knew you were smudging your mascara everywhere, but you didn't care. You had never felt so weak and vulnerable. You didn't think you could survive this, because it literally felt like you were dying from the inside to the outside.

You must've fallen asleep because the next thing you remember is Ben waking you up.

"y/n" he said, softly and you groaned in response. He could see you'd been crying and the fact you had a baseball bat lying next to you wasn't a good sign to him. He lifted you up into his arms, your head resting on his chest, and carried you to your bed.

When he'd tucked you in and kissed the top of your head, he sat on the bed next to you, every so often moving hair out your face as to get a better view of you. When he stood up to leave you grabbed his wrist.

"stay" you whispered, patting the space beside you on the bed. He obeyed and lay down next to you before you turned to face him. He let out a deep sigh when he saw your tear stained cheeks and smudged mascara.

"what happened y/n?" he asked, stroking your cheek.

"I don't know" you responded, "I just started getting really panicked all of a sudden. I felt like there was someone in the apartment" you added.

Ben paused playing with the hair the hung over your face, twisting it around his finger. "I think you need to go and talk to someone" he said, gently.

"I know" you agreed. "but let's wait until after the Oscars. It's only a week away and I think getting away from London for a while will help" you continued.

He hesitantly nodded in agreement, waiting until you fell asleep.