Roommates // Ben Hardy

Chapter Twenty-Two

The next morning you woke up, completely naked, in Ben's bed. He was still asleep and you decided to get up and change back into your clothes. You left the room shutting the door behind you, smiling to yourself.

You walked to the couches to pick up the ripped up t-shirt you had left there last night. Your phone lit up then and buzzed.

'incoming call – James' it said.

Shit. You had just cheated on James. You were the worst human being in the world.
You and James talked on the phone for a while. He was just filling you in on the crazy night he had last night with his work and he was so exhausted that he just collapsed on the bed when he got home.

He found the leaked photo of you and Ben more funny than anything. He was so trusting of you and you slept with another guy. You were officially a shitty person.

"hey, do you want to meet for a coffee or something?" he asked. You couldn't exactly refuse him seen as you needed to tell him about you and Ben. You didn't know where you and Ben were, but James deserved to know the truth at least.

"yeah sure" you said, sheepishly.

A few minutes later you hung up the phone, and got ready to meet James. When you left your room, Ben had just emerged from his room.

"hey, why are you dressed?" he yawned, but still smiled at you.

You couldn't do this with Ben now. You had to wait until you spoke to James.
"I'm meeting James for coffee" you said bluntly.

"oh?" he said, accusingly.

"look Ben, last night was a mistake. I actually cheated on James. I shouldn't have done that, I've been on the receiving end of adultery too many times. I know exactly how it feels and the best way to find out. I have to talk to him" you said, not meeting his eyes.

Ben didn't tell you this, but he felt as if someone had just stuck a dagger in his heart and twisted it.

"right" he started. He didn't know how to continue. He thought the two of you might finally be able to be together, but he assumed he thought wrong. "yeah let's just forget about it" he agreed heading to the kitchen to be alone with his thoughts.

You couldn't admit this either, but you also felt like you'd just had your heart ripped from your chest. You knew you just had to meet James, then you could go running back into Ben's arms.

When you met James you told him about what happened and he, rightly so, broke up with you.

He gave you a 30 minute speech on how important trust and loyalty is to him, but you weren't really listening. What happened with Ben was still sinking in and you couldn't get it out of your mind. All you wanted was for James to stop talking so you could get to Ben as soon as possible.

You jumped in your car and drove back home, your head spinning with thoughts, but the one main central thought being Ben. You could finally have Ben; you could finally be together.

You parked in your usual spot and ran to your apartment, excitedly throwing open the door.

"Ben" you shouted, running straight into his room, which was a mistake. He was underneath Amy and they were clearly in the middle of having sex.

Amy screamed at your appearance, fumbling to cover herself up. You were brought back to the time you walked in on Nathan with another woman. Somehow, even though the circumstances were very different, you felt the same way. You felt weirdly betrayed.

"sorry" you quickly shouted, closing the door behind you. You walked into the kitchen, trying to wipe the horrific image from your mind.

You felt so stupid. Of course Ben couldn't wait more than an hour to get into bed with another girl. He'd always been that way. You'd assumed he'd changed in recent years, but underneath it all you knew him better than that. You knew people didn't change.

You went to get a glass of water, when something caught your eye.
You opened up one of your cupboard fully, to see Ben's stash of whiskey and vodka. He'd tried to hide it from you, but you knew where he kept it the entire time. You just hadn't touched it until now. It wouldn't hurt to just have a small glass, you thought.

So, you poured yourself a glass of whiskey. You had sworn off alcohol, but today really hadn't gone your way and you needed help forgetting that image.

After one drink, you decided instead of drinking at home you were going to go to the local pub. Better drinking in company than alone, or at least Ben and Amy's company. You avoided Ben for the rest of the day before you headed to the bar. A tall brunette guy approached you. He was clearly hitting on you, and you were drunk enough to not care. In fact, he ended up coming home with you that night.

And the next night it was a blonde. And a couple nights later it was another blonde. And this continued on a vicious loop for weeks.

*Ben's POV*

You had just left the apartment to meet James. Ben was extremely hurt by your words and tried to put the out of mind until you could properly talk.

There was a knock at the door a while later and Ben answered to find Amy standing there.

"can I help you?" he asked cautiously, incase she was still pissed about yesterday.

"sorry, I just came to apologise about yesterday. I totally overreacted and I just got jealous, that's all" she said, rubbing her arm. "can we just forget about it" she asked.

"it's already forgotten" he said, seen as he could understand why she was angry, and since he felt guilty about kind of cheating on her with you of all people.

He invited her in and it wasn't long before they were at it in Ben's room. Of course you walked in in the middle of it. That was enough of a turn off for them both to stop.

Amy left after about an hour and Ben sat in his room contemplating if he should talk to you or not. He knew you would have to eventually, but he also knew that right now you were probably trying to forget what you had just witnessed. Before he got the chance to leave his room, he heard footsteps and the front door shut. He left his room to find you were gone.

For the next two weeks Ben had barely seen you. He had certainly heard more of you than he'd hoped through the thin walls separating your rooms. The sound of your moans echoed through his head and he couldn't take it much longer. After a couple weeks he went to grab a drink from the kitchen and only found empty bottles.
He suddenly realised he'd sent you into a relapse.